[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Melancholiadots

    Author: Jonathan Ryner
    ASL Info:    41 Male Round Rock, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    2.97 - 12/14/10
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Prose/Dark
    Total Views: 804
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 455

       I put myself in a pretty dark mood for this one.

    General comments are welcome.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    A land, so sad.
    So dark
    Lonliness is the King,
    at his side, his Queen,
    Only the damned inhabit
    this darkness.
    The walls are of granite
    tall stark and black
    Clouds in heaven are swirling
    masses of darkness,
    threatening to collapse upon
    this unwholesome land.

    Jonathan D. Ryner

    2004 Jonathan D. Ryner

    Submitted on 2004-09-09 00:17:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Very dark and creepy. . . makes me shiver inside and want to go lay down in a big humongous pool of liquid sunlight. I can just see heavy, layered clouds hanging over an already shadowed kingdom, mumbling with far-off but coming-closer thunder of impending doom. Interesting.
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a nice poem...I particularly liked how you had "alone" and "misery" on their own lines, thus bringing a greater emphasis. For some odd reason the clouds make me think of Kansas in the Wizard of Oz...hmm, bet that one's just me though. Write on!
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by hushedhavoc | [ Reply to This ]
      Why u talking about my home in public! lol just kidding I like t5his one, it's worth saving cause! Great job keep it up
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]