[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Raven - Haired Queendots

    Author: Jonathan Ryner
    ASL Info:    41 Male Round Rock, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    2.97 - 12/14/10
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Prose/Passion
    Total Views: 1048
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 535

       I wrote this about a lady love who has since passed on; she said that this was one of her favorites.
    General comments are welcome.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Raven - Haired Queendots

    There are times at which
    I look upon thee
    and my heart siezes hold
    and I cannot breathe.
    For t'is the sight of such beauty that
    bereaves me my senses.
    I think thee, perhaps,
    shall I raise a pedestal
    for thine feet
    that I may grovel and worship thee?
    Oh my divine Queen,
    what greater offering
    can I,
    or any man give,
    than my own heart.

    Jonathan D. Ryner

    2004 Jonathan D. Ryner

    Submitted on 2004-09-09 00:20:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It's about time someone wrote a poem about a brunette (other than Byron's "She Walks in Beauty"). I like the Elizabethan English, though I usually find it pompous. Even Shakespeare was in the Modern English era. Old English reads like a foreign language. It has to be translated. Sorry, you probably know that already, but I'm just going back to my days as a nerdy English major.
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see why she liked it-pure praise for her! Now it's my turn to do the same to you. I love it-your use of Old English is perfect, and your grammar within such is also perfect. I would rather see something short but well written than to have to sit and read something that is long and hard to get through. I admire your grasp of Old English grammar and respect your admiration for this woman. Good write. -Archadya
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by Darc Archadya | [ Reply to This ]
      That's cute i like how u closed it, unexpected and heartwarming! A poem well worth reading! Again great job one more poem like that u'll have a stalker lol j/k! stay safe & peace!
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]