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    dots Submission Name: My Raven - Haired Queendots

    Author: Jonathan Ryner
    ASL Info:    41 Male Round Rock, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    2.97 - 12/14/10
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Prose/Passion
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 535

       I wrote this about a lady love who has since passed on; she said that this was one of her favorites.
    General comments are welcome.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Raven - Haired Queendots

    There are times at which
    I look upon thee
    and my heart siezes hold
    and I cannot breathe.
    For t'is the sight of such beauty that
    bereaves me my senses.
    I think thee, perhaps,
    shall I raise a pedestal
    for thine feet
    that I may grovel and worship thee?
    Oh my divine Queen,
    what greater offering
    can I,
    or any man give,
    than my own heart.

    Jonathan D. Ryner

    2004 Jonathan D. Ryner

    Submitted on 2004-09-09 00:20:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It's about time someone wrote a poem about a brunette (other than Byron's "She Walks in Beauty"). I like the Elizabethan English, though I usually find it pompous. Even Shakespeare was in the Modern English era. Old English reads like a foreign language. It has to be translated. Sorry, you probably know that already, but I'm just going back to my days as a nerdy English major.
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see why she liked it-pure praise for her! Now it's my turn to do the same to you. I love it-your use of Old English is perfect, and your grammar within such is also perfect. I would rather see something short but well written than to have to sit and read something that is long and hard to get through. I admire your grasp of Old English grammar and respect your admiration for this woman. Good write. -Archadya
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by Darc Archadya | [ Reply to This ]
      That's cute i like how u closed it, unexpected and heartwarming! A poem well worth reading! Again great job one more poem like that u'll have a stalker lol j/k! stay safe & peace!
    | Posted on 2004-09-09 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]

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