Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenmuse
    ASL Info:    26/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 756/734/161
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1064
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 273



    Description:
       just screwing around, random thoughts, but i liked it so i decided to submit it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Bliss
    Elicited
    Like moans
    Softly covered
    By your sweet kisses and candlelight
    Shadows
    Playing on the walls
    Like the smoke from my cigarette
    Shifting, curling
    Dancing like demons
    In the madness of a dream




    Submitted on 2004-02-24 12:09:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOw! am very impressed that you have managed to shift styles so profoundly and have achieved such a beautiful spare style that uses rich images that I can imagine. What i liked most about this was the sensuous mental picture I got, in spite of the skeletal wording. This avoided trite or superficial by some artistry i have not put my finger on, but I suspect it was by not over elaborating or slamming the readed with soft enveloping feeling of langorous bliss that such a mood invokes. can almost see a person stretching with all the pleasure of a well fed cat....brilliant. koster
    | Posted on 2007-12-27 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      i really liked this, it was short, yet managed to capture a good point.
    | Posted on 2004-02-24 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This a great little write! I liked all the "s" sounds, and how it starts with single words then each line builds.That with the smoke/shadow imagery mezmerizes..charms...Very good wrote! Silver
    | Posted on 2004-02-24 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the smoke images. This is very vivid and well-written.
    | Posted on 2004-02-24 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      great imagery... alot packed into so few words... would prolly take away the effect by adding anything to it... keep em coming
    | Posted on 2004-02-24 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    2364

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    untitled written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Wavelength written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Every..... written by jackz
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry