A Sense Of Trust -------------------------------------------
Too much or not enough
We were never able to decide
And whatever brought us here
Will hopefully take us back
Even though all I can hear
Is promises of better things to do
Than wasting my time excusing you
Summoned out of thin air
Descending through layers
Of memories and souvenirs
You should have known that to
Commit myself entirely to you
I'd need a thousand sacrifices
To know that I couldn't ever sacrifice
What you are to my senses
Like a radar of fate
What path did make me cross your way
Forgiven for everything yet still
Finding comfort in dismay
Break, twist, rip and shatter
Whatever it is does it really matter
What it could be
If we weren't so mined with precaution
Blasting out of
Our desperately screaming
Overwhelming emotions.
I really enjoyed this, however, there are two lines that hit funny to me: "Like a radar of fate" and "If we weren't so mined with precaution"
The imagery of both lines are very good, but the whole feel of the poem is very organic, so those two just feel out of place in the context of the whole poem. I did enjoy it alot though.
This is a unique look at trust, and its many levels of give and take. The piece seems to speak of many other things, but the need for trust underlies many of the images. I especially like the sacrifices for sense. An interesting and creative write. Well done.
Submission Name: A Sense Of Trust
