oh this is cool. makes me think of my ex *wipes tear from eye* i like it alot. I like the ending to. I don't think it would have been better as a sonnet. great as is. ummm let me go read it again and see if i can say something besides compliments on the third stanza contendedly doesn't really fit right makes that line hard to read for me but it is still good. i like the first stanza alot. makes me think of a secret affair for some reason. i don't know im weird. any way good write i better leave before i take up the whole page
It sounds like something that should be on a Valentine's card or something similar, its very straight forward, has excellent flow and its easy for anyone to read, a great write which I enjoyed reading.
That is so romantic poem... You did very good and I hope you will write more romantic poems. I like these lines: " touch me in the candlelight dancing on the wall kiss me on a moonlit night and maybe we can fall " They touched my heart so deeply. I know what you feel towards your lover and your poem shows that clearly. Well done. Khaled Abdallah.
First of all, let me say it's great to see you back here...it's been a while. The third line of the third stanza is a bit too long for the other lines there. It throws the rythm off. Simply written in a straight forward voice, but nicely done. jan
I liked the whole thing, but I esp. liked the second and third stanzes where every other line ended in the word "me". . You made good use of Rhyming, I found (yes... even though I like rhyming in my own stuff) That it connected this whole poem and that it made it flow a bit better! Good job