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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Specialdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: natasha
    ASL Info:    15/f/brampton
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 113/159/52
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 764
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 406



    Description:
       im in a new realtionship and im truely happy this is for my baby *kiss* i dont care if you ppl dont like it, i write for me and thats all. but tell me what you think of it ne ways b/c it does mean alot that u put ur time in to message me about my poems.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpecialdots
    -------------------------------------------


    to me you are specail in everyway.
    My heart filled with love, and my eyes
    speak of joy, No one can take this away from me
    its speical.

    The way ur Voice ecko's in my ears i can here it forever. when i close my eyes i can c u standing there.

    to me every moment is specail, you make me free.
    Im so glad that im me.
    and that ur my baby




    Submitted on 2004-09-10 20:57:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      that is soo sweet! thank you for writing what you realy feel i think its amazing to find love... so i share your joy! i can only hope to find that love that lasts~! and wish the same for you
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by ibelikeso | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this. It is sweet and... well, soothing. I enjoyed the part about his voice echoing in your ears the best. But, just for future reference I thought I'd point out that "specail" is really spelled "special" and "ecko" is really "echo". When you wrote "here" I'm sure you meant "hear". And maybe next time, try to NOT go for the easy way and don't short cut all your words. It makes it harder for us to read. I'm not trying to cut down on your poem, it was actually pretty good, I'm just trying to help you out a little to make your work the best that it can be.
    | Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by slickviper097 | [ Reply to This ]
      i can relate to this. i am going though this right now but i cna't have him as my baby. lol. i think the best part of it was the first stanza. It was and awsome piece of work. i'm looking forward to reading more of it.
    | Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      When I started reading I had to stop...the flow was not right.
    Was not your poem was the way i would normally fall in to a poem...this is different...good mind you but different.
    I like it...reminds me of 'beatchick' from the cafe
    in web crawler days...sssssmmmoootth,
    keep it up.
    ~clay~
    | Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      Not a bad poem, but try to avoid the clichés like...My heart filled with love... be creative with this. Try to think of a different way of saying this line, one that YOU don't think has ever been said before. And just some advice...don't ever be afraidof using a thesaurus.
    | Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by Jonathan Lennox | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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