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    dots Submission Name: A Musical Carpenterdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 458

       I'm feeling too bad to write anything fabulous. It's got nothing to do with Jesus.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Musical Carpenterdots

    I met a man with a level head
    pounded red by the sun
    underneath which he hammers all day
    with the speed of a woodpecker
    and a jazzy, syncopated rhythm
    accompanied by his virtuoso whistling
    that has given his lips vertical lines,
    though he's only 19,
    and when he sleeps,
    he dreams of red cherry
    with a perfectly straight grain
    measured twice and cut once .

    Submitted on 2004-09-11 02:14:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'm reading some more of your work and I like it alot. I've always tried to convey my thoughts with wit or insight as tersely and compactly as possible and you seem to be a kindred spirit.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      A carpenter huh. I think they really hear music in the sounds of hammers and saws, for they always seem to whistle an unkown tune. It's kinda like my students who hit the desk with their hands and hear a rap beat.
    You did a good job using the double intendre, although the images were half comic as I read. Maybe it's because I know several carpenters personally.
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think it ends abrupt. it's a good ending. the title is really original and interesting. makes people (at least me ) want to read it. you've described him and his passion for wood very well, I can see him working before my eyes. this a really good poem although you think you can't write something like that at the moment. hope you feel better soon.
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      well are you running out of topics to write?? lol just a joke. this is not that bad really, but i thought the ending was a bit abrupt, dont you think? well the idea of the musical carpenter was innovative, but i would like it a lot better if you ended it better than this.

    but really good description of the carpenter. you must know more than me about english so no use in helping you much, but just wantd to say this is the first time i would like your poem to run longer than before.
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]

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