Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Musical Carpenterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 895
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 458



    Description:
       I'm feeling too bad to write anything fabulous. It's got nothing to do with Jesus.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Musical Carpenterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I met a man with a level head
    pounded red by the sun
    underneath which he hammers all day
    with the speed of a woodpecker
    and a jazzy, syncopated rhythm
    accompanied by his virtuoso whistling
    that has given his lips vertical lines,
    though he's only 19,
    and when he sleeps,
    he dreams of red cherry
    with a perfectly straight grain
    measured twice and cut once .





    Submitted on 2004-09-11 02:14:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm reading some more of your work and I like it alot. I've always tried to convey my thoughts with wit or insight as tersely and compactly as possible and you seem to be a kindred spirit.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      A carpenter huh. I think they really hear music in the sounds of hammers and saws, for they always seem to whistle an unkown tune. It's kinda like my students who hit the desk with their hands and hear a rap beat.
    You did a good job using the double intendre, although the images were half comic as I read. Maybe it's because I know several carpenters personally.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think it ends abrupt. it's a good ending. the title is really original and interesting. makes people (at least me ) want to read it. you've described him and his passion for wood very well, I can see him working before my eyes. this a really good poem although you think you can't write something like that at the moment. hope you feel better soon.
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      well are you running out of topics to write?? lol just a joke. this is not that bad really, but i thought the ending was a bit abrupt, dont you think? well the idea of the musical carpenter was innovative, but i would like it a lot better if you ended it better than this.

    but really good description of the carpenter. you must know more than me about english so no use in helping you much, but just wantd to say this is the first time i would like your poem to run longer than before.
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by Zu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    23861

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Linger written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Wavelength written by saartha
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Giving written by jjd
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Push written by JanePlane
    Song written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry