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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: enlightening discoverydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: crazyphreshone
    ASL Info:    31/M/NewYork
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 66/69/30
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 313
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 336



    Description:
       take this for what its worth,its your individual and/or unique perception that will fill your head w/ a definition,thanx 4 ya time....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsenlightening discoverydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Juices salavating,
    the epidermis coated,
    a thin film of sweat and salt.
    As we traversed to
    the rythems of the universe,
    with that ease that comes
    quite as second nature,
    like instinct;
    nonchalant decisions on a whim,
    where a bland persons colors
    dont seem so dim...




    Submitted on 2004-09-11 08:49:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Juices salavating,
    the epidermis coated,
    a thin film of sweat and salt.
    As we traversed to
    the rhythms of the universe,
    with ease that is
    more instinct than
    second nature.
    nonchalant decisions on a whim,
    where a bland person's colors
    dont seem so dim...

    Hey...I made a few changes to this...take or toss...

    I get confused by your opening line...juices salavating...I understand what you are trying to say but at the same time it seems a little off logic wise. Interesting piece where the sexual urge is able to rise above minds that are dulled by time/disappointment etc.

    Best wishes
    | Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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