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    dots Submission Name: Desert Stormdots

    Author: roxygirl239
    ASL Info:    14/f/VA
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 450/305/44
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 939
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 643

       I just wrote this on general experiences nothing recent. It was an abandoned poem, and i decided to revive it. I haven't wrote much lately. So please feel free to say whatver comes to your mind.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDesert Stormdots

    I am here to
    Clean your wounds
    You away
    From this desert storm

    I am here to
    Revive your soul
    You’re bound to end up
    On my doorstep
    Any day

    Are a prisoner
    Of her war
    You lay there motionless
    And unsure

    If you were small enough
    I'd buy a locket
    And put you in it
    Close to my heart
    You would be

    I’m sorry
    This may hurt
    But this kiss will
    Take it all away
    And leave you
    Nothing left to say

    Submitted on 2004-09-11 20:54:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i hope it doesn't come across to you as me not taking your poem seriously,but to sum it up in one word,cute.you seem to genuinely want to provide someone with some valuable assistance and we all ,sometimes, need to be reached out to.i hope that you succeed in your endeavours and wish you all the best.
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by sickly | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo for you! A boy who's been injured by antoher girl, pretty much left senseless from your description, and because of your love for him you're trying to revive him, much as you revived this poem. A few grammatical errors: "I buy a locket" should be "I'd buy a locket" and "Close my heart" should be "Close to my heart". Other than that, great job!
    | Posted on 2004-09-11 00:00:00 | by secret moon | [ Reply to This ]
    this is beautiful...like a prayer almost...heavenly anyway.

    made me feel cared for and secure...at ease with the world so to speak.
    not to mention that all the good things are in the right place...
    imagery,clearity, highs and lows...and the end was brilliant!
    what a wonderful read...so glad i tripped over your page...awesome find...now wathcing you
    | Posted on 2004-10-19 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]

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