[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: War of the Dandelionsdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 801
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 583

       This is similar to my poem Dandelions (in which the lawn is a hydra-like monster and dandelions are its heads), but I thought it would be cool to describe them like people. You know, a bunch of blonde women coming to live on your front lawn (I have nothing against blondes, but they HAD to be blonde because dandelions are yellow). I'm a weirdo.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWar of the Dandelionsdots

    You can chop off my blonde head,
    but it will grow back,
    and I'll invite my other tow-headed friends,
    of which there are many,
    and we'll drink your poison,
    but we won't leave.
    This is war, my friend.
    Eventually our heads will be blown off,
    but you won't get any satisfaction,
    for it'll be the wind that decapitates us
    after our tops turn white and dry,
    and the pieces rain down like bullets,
    but that will only bring more of us.
    You'll never win!

    Submitted on 2004-09-12 02:23:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      very different. short, to the point, and well written. evil, vengeful dandeloins. I like how you compared it to war beacause they are irritating little buggers. one thing...tow-headed is supposed to be two-headed maybe?
    | Posted on 2004-09-15 00:00:00 | by Kapone | [ Reply to This ]
      as patton said-"no one ever won a war by dying for his country. you win by making the other poor [censored] die for HIS country."

    You left off the maniacal laughter at the end. mwah ha ha ha ha! ;-)

    I just let 'em grow at this point. lawns are man's invented evil [and i'm horribly allergic to grass, which might color my viewpoint].
    | Posted on 2004-09-13 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      that is a bit twisted, Amy, but i like it! i always have a hard time picking dandelions 'cause they are, after all, a flower... i can't pick a weed if it has a flower on it! these sound like mutant ninja dandelions! they're like that, though, aren't they? they just keep coming back! i like how you describe the white fuzzy things like bullets raining down! you have a very creative and twisted mind!
    | Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I realize I talk about this movie a lot, but only because it's a classic: I'm reminded of the movie "Heathers" in this poem. In the way that you can get rid of someone who's ruining your life but someone will always come and take his place. That's what I got from this poem.

    The lighthearted tone allows the reader to become very attached to the whole work which is awesome. One thing I'm not so sure about is the exclamation point at the end. On one hand, it adds to the whole care-free tone, and on the other hand it seems too casual for the undertone. Just something to consider. Lovely poem.

    | Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      dandelions grow everywhere and they get more and more each year. you can do whatever you want it doesn't help. but I like them. for me they're nice little yellow flowers. anyway your poem was cute and very original. I could see an army of little dandelions fighting and kicking...
    | Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really cool, I wish I could write in a more descriptive and less obvious manner, but hey thats me. You really hit it with the description of the wind decapitating the heads. Groovy write! Beckie
    | Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by Burnt Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      this is truely unique. super cool in it's originality. the only thing I saw that I thought would make it cool is in the line:

    "But eventually our heads will be blown off"

    to me it would be a little better if you took out the "But" just for repetitions sake. Because it's used in a few other lines and in the one right after this one.

    Other than that. I super enjoyed it.
    | Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cover written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Carry written by saartha
    AI written by poetotoe
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]