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Tears on Parchment


Author: Ari Leukos
ASL Info:    17/Male/CA
Elite Ratio:    4.83 - 92 /134 /47
Words: 312
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1204
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1754



Description:


A poem about lost love, rejection, and all such sad things in life that trouble a person- this time written from the point of the poet.


Tears on Parchment



Trembling, my heart is lonely
Stung by autumn's chill
Desperate words poured out on paper
Cannot, this void, fufill

My clouded eyes seek beauty,
Reflected on a crisp, cream page
Dreams scrawled in ink are meaningless,
Except from an artful sage

These longings burn within me deep
Though I struggle to express
A verse that maybe you would keep
In the place of my caress

And 'lo, the words I wrote to you
Beneath the starlit skies:

"When you said you loved me,
With laughter in your eyes

When you fell into my arms,
Alone on the riverside

When all around us seemed to fade,
Lost from the moonlight's cries

When this moment I would never trade,
For all the riches of the earth

When you denied your love that sunless day,
My heart saw you turn in mirth..."

I can't go on, my thoughts are few,
Tears drown what words I write
Why have you gone? Oh, why, my love...
I can see no end in sight

You'll never see these phrases,
Yet I write them all the same
You filled my heart with utter joy
And now leave me in pure shame

If a poem could alone evoke
All I wish that you could feel
My love, my pain, a cold night's chill
The warmth of days when love was real

My shallow breath trembles as I read
What words of love and prose confide
My solitary soul sinks back again
To where these tears on parchment hide




Submitted on 2004-09-12 15:03:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Dang. This poem has so many lines in it I ...love.
"These longings burn within me deep
Though I struggle to express
A verse that maybe you would keep
In the place of my caress"
These would probably have to be my favorite. They are *groovy*. I've read them at least...100 times. Had the same effect on me as a breathtaking view, and I'm still trying to get over the sweaty palms and racing heart. The love was coated with a layer of depressing sadness that only being parted from someone you truly care about can cause. Splendid.
| Posted on 2005-01-16 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, excellent poem. I've never seen such a lost put into a place as well as this one was. I'm sorry to hear you had to go through this.

"You'll never see these phrases,
Yet I write them all the same
You filled my heart with utter joy
And now leave me in pure shame"

Excellent stanza, escept for the last line. Perhaps taking off the pure would put a better flow on your piece. To be hones I noticed you were one or two syllables in a couple stanzas/lines. One of the greatest peices of advice I ever recieved was counting my syllables, and believe me it improved my writing so much. Although everynow and then, like on my latest piece, I mess my flow up horribly. Oh well.

Excellent piece, matter o' fact, a favorite.

--Kayla
| Posted on 2004-12-10 00:00:00 | by Superman | [ Reply to This ]
  No seriuosly...i really am eating apple pie...again. lol. OK, anyways... back to what really matters!

Ari, your brilliance AMAZES me! I especially liked the 2nd and 3rd stanzas. Oh and the phrases

"When you fell into my arms,
Alone on the riverside
When all around us seemed to fade,
Lost from the moonlight's cries
When this moment I would never trade,
For all the riches of the earth"

It so totally reminds me of things that are quite pleasant. Overall, this is a BEAUTIFUL piece... thought kind of sad because of the dying love. Nonetheless... I agree with Suven and clay... HOW DARE YOU THINK OF IT FIRST! lol. Ari, you deserve a gold star!
| Posted on 2004-09-13 00:00:00 | by Kali | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree Suven..stolden...stolden...lol...
Wish I did write it...cause holy hanna I feel it.
Awesome job...I loved
'when you fell into my arms
alone on the riverside'
made me cold...such a warth there at that part...but maybe undertone of whats to come...or the longing to hold forever...
well done, thanks so much for sharing
~clay~
| Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
  These longings burn within me deep
Though I struggle to express
A verse that maybe you would keep
In the place of my caress

first off, i didn't mind the length at all. Everything expressed was written well and felt right. The stanza above is making me blink way more than natural- and i resent you for that.

If a poem could alone evoke
All I wish that you could feel

and this, breaks the control, and i could throw myself away with the words. I've tried so hard to do just that...
last stanza is darling, last verse i would kill to have thought of first! You're so evil Ari...how could you do this to a fellow writer?
Overall, the essence, I think you stole from me and all dying romantics struck cold of this world.
| Posted on 2004-09-12 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]
  oh...wow...you seem to write with years that you have not yet known...you're so young...this poem was beautiful...Seemingly so tragic...it just sorta flowed while i read it...

Cannot, this void, fufill

really like that line. To me, it portrays such desperation, such longing...this piece...beyond the definition which I can provide...i havent the words to express...its a fave:)

->Dark
| Posted on 2004-10-31 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ari, I can never tell you enough how great you are. This is my first work I've read of yours. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I had tears, literally. You tend to always have a focal point that you wish to express in every stanza, every line. I love it. You're so deep and expressive. Haha...suggestions? I'd like for you to give ME suggestions...I've always been known to write decently, but certainly not to your calibur. Awesome.
| Posted on 2004-12-06 00:00:00 | by wanderingpoet16 | [ Reply to This ]


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