Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Belladonnadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 211
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1386



    Description:
       any and all feedback is welcomed,any tips or personal suggestions are greatly encouraged,for i am a begginer.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Belladonnadots
    -------------------------------------------


    The most deadly of herbs
    to eat one cherry is a dare
    A doom survived is rare
    though even if there is a cure
    How many seek this truth in question?
    Is she the "beautiful lady" that she's said to
    be?
    Is known by all, but mostly said in Italy
    Making women seem attractive
    it's juice was used to pale their skin
    The berries work is very active
    Just a drop inside the eyes, made them shine
    dialating in a way to surprise

    Here's a myth,
    take a think;
    is this true by all these hints?
    Originating from the ancient Europe
    time of Montagues and Capulettes
    gave a condemned battle hope
    a decided love,a greatest attribute.

    Comsuming her was that great action
    his life for millions and one girl
    Now his eyes they die and blacken
    detail noticed fine and clear,
    by the one that was his mate
    glass half empty was right near
    knowing well this was their fate
    took a second, endless wait.

    took a drink!
    gone and lost with no more link
    loss was greater than you think.

    Only took a pair in love,
    and growingly they conquered war.
    Battle ended with her help,
    with her poison lowered hell,a bloody gore.




    Submitted on 2004-09-13 06:38:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is the story of Romeo and Juliet and the "Belladonna", The cure for the two feuding families and how, through the death of their beloved children they made peace!! ~Vladimir09
    | Posted on 2006-05-23 00:00:00 | by Damien Vladimir | [ Reply to This ]
      I noticed the mention of Romeo and Juliet at the end of the piece, and the mention of a fruit at the beginning of the piece, and I just know the two things intertwine somehow, but I can't seem to figure out exactly how this works. I like when you said, "here's a myth; take a think;"...that was a really cool way to word it. I think that's when you started in on Romeo and Juliet. Hmm...it's a good piece, I just can't seem to figure the whole thing out. But it sounds really good. Good job.
    | Posted on 2004-10-06 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, I don't really know what to say and that's fairly rare. Overall, I like this poem, but it seems to be a little confusing at times. I feel as if you meant to start with one thought and wandered off a little bit. However, it has great feeling behind it. That's important. If you want someone to know how you feel then you've got to tell them how you feel.
    | Posted on 2004-10-28 00:00:00 | by Victoria | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    24105

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lures and Witch Hunts written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lithograph written by HisNameIsNoMore
    again written by vedanta19
    My Great Divide written by Diablo Tapitio
    It's Personal written by Chelebel
    untitled written by Narna
    Catharsis 💩 written by Chelebel
    Around the Corner written by Torie
    No Garden Here written by Angeles
    Blue written by closetpoet
    You Seuss Me written by closetpoet
    The Poets' Abode - Episode #1 written by krs3332003
    Breaking Free written by Janesaddiction
    Astral Projection's Existential Hubris written by monad
    Mornings written by Chelebel
    Torn-a-do written by Chelebel
    Given Take written by closetpoet
    Africa written by expiring_touch
    So Shore written by Chelebel
    Achievements written by Chelebel
    It Walked Between written by HisNameIsNoMore
    we are not our bodies written by lebeauvide
    Cavern written by lori_tab
    Gobbldegoop written by Angeles
    tacking a yard of our brain to the tree written by Daniel Barlow
    The Truth written by jackz
    Crackerjack Jack written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Kissing Eva written by krs3332003
    Poetry written by Chelebel
    Poison love Chapter one written by rachelvrolyks

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry