Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Belladonnadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 110/84/34
    Words: 210
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 432
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1386



    Description:
       any and all feedback is welcomed,any tips or personal suggestions are greatly encouraged,for i am a begginer.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Belladonnadots
    -------------------------------------------


    The most deadly of herbs
    to eat one cherry is a dare
    A doom survived is rare
    though even if there is a cure
    How many seek this truth in question?
    Is she the "beautiful lady" that she's said to
    be?
    Is known by all, but mostly said in Italy
    Making women seem attractive
    it's juice was used to pale their skin
    The berries work is very active
    Just a drop inside the eyes, made them shine
    dialating in a way to surprise

    Here's a myth,
    take a think;
    is this turth by all these hints?
    Originating from the ancient Europe
    time of Montagues and Capulettes
    gave a condemned battle hope
    a decided love,a greatest attribute.

    Comsuming her was that great action
    his life for millions and one girl
    Now his eyes they die and blacken
    detail noticed fine and clear,
    by the one that was his mate
    glass half empty was right near
    knowing well this was their fate
    took a second, endless wait.

    took a drink!
    gone and lost with no more link
    lost was greater than you think.

    Only took a pair in love,
    and growingly they conquered war.
    Battle ended with her help,
    with her poison lowered hell,a bloody gore.




    Submitted on 2004-09-13 06:38:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is the story of Romeo and Juliet and the "Belladonna", The cure for the two feuding families and how, through the death of their beloved children they made peace!! ~Vladimir09
    | Posted on 2006-05-23 00:00:00 | by Damien Vladimir | [ Reply to This ]
      I noticed the mention of Romeo and Juliet at the end of the piece, and the mention of a fruit at the beginning of the piece, and I just know the two things intertwine somehow, but I can't seem to figure out exactly how this works. I like when you said, "here's a myth; take a think;"...that was a really cool way to word it. I think that's when you started in on Romeo and Juliet. Hmm...it's a good piece, I just can't seem to figure the whole thing out. But it sounds really good. Good job.
    | Posted on 2004-10-06 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, I don't really know what to say and that's fairly rare. Overall, I like this poem, but it seems to be a little confusing at times. I feel as if you meant to start with one thought and wandered off a little bit. However, it has great feeling behind it. That's important. If you want someone to know how you feel then you've got to tell them how you feel.
    | Posted on 2004-10-28 00:00:00 | by Victoria | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    24105

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sonnet to the Past Five Years written by MadGeologist
    Tangible for the Kids written by Jazzy
    familiarity... written by trinityfinger
    Remembering Forever written by kase
    Insecure thoughts of her written by theinforment
    If I lost you written by Katrinagolden
    Waking Dreams written by CaiZutto
    woman written by badliver
    She's mine I'm hers written by theinforment
    The Howling of The Loon written by Esophagus1
    Philosophic thoughts on Religion written by Anatta
    Take a listen -Japan- written by SingSong
    Mistake written by TheAirWeBreathe
    Paschal Moon written by Silverdog
    untitled written by Crestfallenman
    Bifurcation written by expiring_touch
    Regretting written by TheAirWeBreathe
    About Me and Then About You written by Anixancy
    Could you pass the peas? written by AEREASSAULT
    Doing it wrong written by becca113
    Marcus written by becca113
    nostalgia. written by MyPeriodical
    moving and burning written by theinforment
    Scared of love written by theinforment
    "Happiness" written by LightningAngel
    All of us are Hypocrites written by TheAirWeBreathe
    New Arrivals written by Wolfwatching
    paper dolls written by becca113
    I Feel Like Wood. written by MyPeriodical
    One written by Silenced Hope

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry