Description: any and all feedback is welcomed,any tips or personal suggestions are greatly encouraged,for i am a begginer.
The Belladonna -------------------------------------------
The most deadly of herbs
to eat one cherry is a dare
A doom survived is rare
though even if there is a cure
How many seek this truth in question?
Is she the "beautiful lady" that she's said to
Is known by all, but mostly said in Italy
Making women seem attractive
it's juice was used to pale their skin
The berries work is very active
Just a drop inside the eyes, made them shine
dialating in a way to surprise
Here's a myth,
take a think;
is this true by all these hints?
Originating from the ancient Europe
time of Montagues and Capulettes
gave a condemned battle hope
a decided love,a greatest attribute.
Comsuming her was that great action
his life for millions and one girl
Now his eyes they die and blacken
detail noticed fine and clear,
by the one that was his mate
glass half empty was right near
knowing well this was their fate
took a second, endless wait.
took a drink!
gone and lost with no more link
loss was greater than you think.
Only took a pair in love,
and growingly they conquered war.
Battle ended with her help,
with her poison lowered hell,a bloody gore.
I noticed the mention of Romeo and Juliet at the end of the piece, and the mention of a fruit at the beginning of the piece, and I just know the two things intertwine somehow, but I can't seem to figure out exactly how this works. I like when you said, "here's a myth; take a think;"...that was a really cool way to word it. I think that's when you started in on Romeo and Juliet. Hmm...it's a good piece, I just can't seem to figure the whole thing out. But it sounds really good. Good job.
Hmm, I don't really know what to say and that's fairly rare. Overall, I like this poem, but it seems to be a little confusing at times. I feel as if you meant to start with one thought and wandered off a little bit. However, it has great feeling behind it. That's important. If you want someone to know how you feel then you've got to tell them how you feel.