[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Lunar Madnessdots

    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 763


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLunar Madnessdots

    Was the summer of the bloody moon
    only witness to my killing
    unreachable, and so I worry
    the beam reflects from eyes of me
    and then you'll see what I have seen
    the murder scene of the obscene
    As I would be that morbid beast.

    My sight at night denies to glare a glaze of dreaded spears,
    to stare at me would spark the mark, as tragedy appears
    the blue declares a lunar freeze of lucid fear
    the fear this man would wear
    would smear his face with blood but not a single tear
    A diabolical despair will disappear
    as all my cares have shown why I'm demented,
    I'm drenching blood, for such a million dollar death sentence.

    Submitted on 2004-09-13 07:35:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The only part I was able to decipher made me think you are a werewolf. And if you are...that's cool...but something tells me that's not what you were trying to get across. It's a good piece, I like the phrase "glare a glaze" best; you have an interesting way with words. But I'm rereading and rereading and all I'm getting is that the narrator is a werewolf.
    | Posted on 2004-10-06 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      WHATS UP WITH THE #8217 thing?!?! Could someone please explani this to me! I don't understand... geesh. I feel so out of it. PLEASE ELAIN WHAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN! Oh, and by the way, I liked your poem. I like the complexity especially. Some say that makes it hard to understand but I think it only adds to the beauty of the poem. Anywho, um could you please explain the #8217 thing to me? *so confused*
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by Kali | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this poem. I love to read something from someone who gets "it", you know, that most things that are real are not visible to the typical Christian mind. They are all around us, in the minds of men who are condemned. And I love the title, Lunar Madness. I myself am entirely in love with the moon!
    | Posted on 2004-09-13 00:00:00 | by melancholymaid | [ Reply to This ]
      Unfortunately I am not into the gothic-type of subject matter or the obsession with blood and death and all of that, so I found it difficult to get into this piece. Also, I don't know what causes the #8217-thing, but it is very distracting...
    But to critique the poetic form of this, there is no pattern at all here. The first paragraph has only two random lines that rhyme but then it seems as though you are trying to rhyme each line in the second paragraph up until the last two lines which completely fall out of the pattern and do not rhyme. Very disorganized from that standpoint...
    Sorry I could not be more supportive, but those were my first impressions...
    | Posted on 2004-09-13 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Fasade written by jackz
    Push written by JanePlane
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]