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I Want to Know by Heart

Author: J. A. Clark
ASL Info:    25/m/GA
Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 50 /51 /12
Words: 120
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1137
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 720


Earlier today I was thinking about Jayme and how I just wanted to know the small things about her, just to sit beside her and know what she looks like without having to look at memorize the way she does everything....that's when I wrote this...but as all can always be better...

I Want to Know by Heart

I want to know by heart
Every line on your face.
Every curve, every dimple,
Every cell, every space.

I want to know by heart
The way your hair shields your eyes.
With every strand in its place,
Every shape and every size.

I want to know by heart
Every fleck of color in your eye
Each and every speck of blue,
I know I've got to try.

I want to know by heart
Every smile that you make.
Keeping it in my mind
To save for a rainy day.

I want to know by heart
The ways your body moves with mine.
Say you'll let me know,
For now and the rest of time.

Submitted on 2004-09-13 22:27:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  This is nice, but you need to proofread this. It is a very sweet poem, but maybe you could make it more unique. It's like a lot of other poems (even some of my own), but it good.
| Posted on 2004-09-14 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  Aww...this was very sweet. This really goes to show how much you love, or want to love, her. So much that you want to know every single, tiy, microscopic detail about her "by heart". I like the idea behind that.
I think you need a comma in the middle of the 3rd line. I also think that maybe, just maybe, you should re-think the line "I know I've got to try". It almost seems as if you couldn't think of anything else to rhyme with the rest of it. Just a thought.
| Posted on 2004-09-14 00:00:00 | by Amberdy | [ Reply to This ]
  I read it once and decided it was going to be a favorite. This is delicious. It's embarrassing for me to admit, but I fancied imagining myself in Jamie's stead- with a guy who would go through all that wishing and hopping to know me better. That's what caught me right there. It's very simple, context-wise. A nice agreeable structure. I don't know what else to's just too sweet of you!
| Posted on 2004-09-13 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]

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