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Fashion Me With Fire (Rewrite)

Author: J. A. Clark
ASL Info:    25/m/GA
Elite Ratio:    4.01 - 50 /51 /12
Words: 117
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 869
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 741


I know I didn't change much, just a few words and a line or two, but I'm happy with it.....for now....what do you guys think?

Fashion Me With Fire (Rewrite)

My lament you will hear.
For my heart has been seared.
My bread has become ash,
and my drink has turned to tears.

My nights have become as days,
My days do not exist.
For you have abandoned me.
How much can I take of this?

The sun laughs at my torture,
The moon sneers with delight.
I'm so sure of nothing,
Since I can't see your light.

You promised you'd never leave,
but now i'm not so sure.
I feel your warmth,
And I know your love endures.

So lift me out of this cistern!
Pull me from the mire!
Douse the pain with your love,
And fashion me with fire.

Submitted on 2004-09-13 22:52:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This is sad to me. So full of pain, yet hopefull that this person will makes me sad for the chance that they never will. I know this feeling. Sometimes the only way to get through the day is to hope...but then you wonder if you're just kidding yourself.

I love how your "bread has become ash"...fantastic image of not being able to eat...I also see a person just smoking themselves to death. Good job.
| Posted on 2004-09-14 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]

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