this poem rocks, because unfortuanatly i have a hard time trying to hold back words. One thing you build a sense of danger but where is that danger compared to pain?
wow, i love this, this is remanists of hopw i fill on writing. your writing a book? me too, i don't agree with secret moon, of course there's more to say, because when your a writter there is always more to say.
Um. Can't really say a lot, except for that there's definitely a lot of potential here. Your rhyming is a little forced in the first block, although not in the second and third. However, your ending is unsatisfactory, and leaves the impression that there's more left to be said, instead of leaving the reader with - if not a warm fuzzy feeling - a feeling that they've reached the end of the work. All I can say is - keep working on it! -Secret
Submission Name: War of words
