Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

King Of The World...

Author: Damien Vladimir
ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122 /89 /35
Words: 380
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1551
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2398


What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

King Of The World...

Who would be hurt?
Well,who would initiate in such a search?
For if i was to escape right now,
who would know where i would go?
Who could flow as my own clone,
or grow a glow of eyes of gold?
Are you to say a trace will show?
Would you have known me long enough,
to know in earth just where to look?

Would my music show a love so true?
As to be a guide for you from out the blue?
Know which route i would renounce?
Would you pounce from town to town,
until you heard the mass anoounce?

How the house of such a man is earth,
and how he smiles from the south?
Now your smile turns to frown,
as you see now who wears the crown,
As you see it isn't me,and your heart begins to drown.
For a devil which is satan,
states aloud a defamated,
mutilated form of sound,
Contorts a storm of cloud,
As he's proud,you are down,
he is hound consuming pound for pound the soul of you for now.

You are ghoul!
A ghost!
A human decomposed!

A grain of mistic wishes,
sprouts a craving of decisions,
An incision of demonic infestations.
A power crazy from the wicked,
as deranged a composition.
It's ambition, intuition,
it's attaining.
it's a game displaying mental pain,
a gain of the insane.

It's a demon on the hunt.
Since it's me you will be slaying,
I will play,
for a chase is placed to face the maze.
Yes, the wizard of my brain.
With over functions of insane inspiration,
without a hesitation.
My education means sedation,
in your part as you are lame.

So which prediction of your own,
is the answer to my game?

No, you don't know a single thing,
you wouldn't know and so you spin,
as you look inside to try and find a spark, the smallest click.

So let me go,
i'll clearly show you how i sting.
As i know you, you should know,
you know not a single thing,
or even so a way to think.
Would you have known,
the words i wrote compose,
a song you'll ever hate?

Submitted on 2004-09-16 00:23:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  i like this a lot. the sing-song rhyme style nicely sets off the serious tone. you do that very well. one thing-line 2-did you mean 'initiate'?

'grow a glow of eyes of gold' - great alliteration and internal rhyme!
| Posted on 2004-09-16 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
  This is pretty cool. I admit at first my mind was reeling from all the rhymes and words from taking it all in too fast but I managed to stop and actually read it and I like it. My favorite part was the description of "you" starting with "you are a ghoul" etc etc. Nice job.
| Posted on 2004-09-16 00:00:00 | by DewdropMartini | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?