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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flesh Awaiting Dissaraydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 800
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 881



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsFlesh Awaiting Dissaraydots
    -------------------------------------------


    How about a cloudless sky?
    Would you like a flawless diamond?
    How could i, not see you die without a crystal eye?
    Death or life,which of both would you confide in?

    You claim to be a coffin laying corpse,
    a laughing lifeless soul to undergo and live as crow.
    The peace i see, is dangerously doomsday,
    as you reclaim will be a day, you free your spirit from the grave.

    This is impossible!
    Another superstitous mental puzzle,
    an illusional idea of your dying.so bedazzled,
    How could such a morbid thought not be a hassle?
    but rather have you feeling like a knight inside a castle,
    lost and waiting for your slaying.
    waiting,watching over every city,
    out for pity, out for feeding,only weak ones are the prey.
    Have you negleted your decaying flesh?




    Submitted on 2004-09-16 13:22:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Sorry i can't bash it! it is tooo good. i love it.
    Exellent peice! it is dark and i thought it was kinda sexy too... but that is just me.
    Take care.
    Jes
    | Posted on 2004-10-04 00:00:00 | by Jesimine | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the way that you broke up the three stanzas with in the poem. The first starting off a little more cheery than the last one for sure. Are you trying to get across the feeling of frustration? Cuase that's what I got from it, just my interpretation.
    | Posted on 2004-09-16 00:00:00 | by Jonathan Lennox | [ Reply to This ]


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