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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flesh Awaiting Dissaraydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 772
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 881



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlesh Awaiting Dissaraydots
    -------------------------------------------


    How about a cloudless sky?
    Would you like a flawless diamond?
    How could i, not see you die without a crystal eye?
    Death or life,which of both would you confide in?

    You claim to be a coffin laying corpse,
    a laughing lifeless soul to undergo and live as crow.
    The peace i see, is dangerously doomsday,
    as you reclaim will be a day, you free your spirit from the grave.

    This is impossible!
    Another superstitous mental puzzle,
    an illusional idea of your dying.so bedazzled,
    How could such a morbid thought not be a hassle?
    but rather have you feeling like a knight inside a castle,
    lost and waiting for your slaying.
    waiting,watching over every city,
    out for pity, out for feeding,only weak ones are the prey.
    Have you negleted your decaying flesh?




    Submitted on 2004-09-16 13:22:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sorry i can't bash it! it is tooo good. i love it.
    Exellent peice! it is dark and i thought it was kinda sexy too... but that is just me.
    Take care.
    Jes
    | Posted on 2004-10-04 00:00:00 | by Jesimine | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the way that you broke up the three stanzas with in the poem. The first starting off a little more cheery than the last one for sure. Are you trying to get across the feeling of frustration? Cuase that's what I got from it, just my interpretation.
    | Posted on 2004-09-16 00:00:00 | by Jonathan Lennox | [ Reply to This ]


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