Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flesh Awaiting Dissaraydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 776
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 881



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlesh Awaiting Dissaraydots
    -------------------------------------------


    How about a cloudless sky?
    Would you like a flawless diamond?
    How could i, not see you die without a crystal eye?
    Death or life,which of both would you confide in?

    You claim to be a coffin laying corpse,
    a laughing lifeless soul to undergo and live as crow.
    The peace i see, is dangerously doomsday,
    as you reclaim will be a day, you free your spirit from the grave.

    This is impossible!
    Another superstitous mental puzzle,
    an illusional idea of your dying.so bedazzled,
    How could such a morbid thought not be a hassle?
    but rather have you feeling like a knight inside a castle,
    lost and waiting for your slaying.
    waiting,watching over every city,
    out for pity, out for feeding,only weak ones are the prey.
    Have you negleted your decaying flesh?




    Submitted on 2004-09-16 13:22:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sorry i can't bash it! it is tooo good. i love it.
    Exellent peice! it is dark and i thought it was kinda sexy too... but that is just me.
    Take care.
    Jes
    | Posted on 2004-10-04 00:00:00 | by Jesimine | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the way that you broke up the three stanzas with in the poem. The first starting off a little more cheery than the last one for sure. Are you trying to get across the feeling of frustration? Cuase that's what I got from it, just my interpretation.
    | Posted on 2004-09-16 00:00:00 | by Jonathan Lennox | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    24556

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Cover written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry