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    dots Submission Name: The Days are Graydots

    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1446
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1144

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    dotsThe Days are Graydots

    Taken away!
    It's these synthesizing jungle beats, that push they are waves
    a labyrinth gaze,as horizons are gray....
    answers remain.
    Would i part ways?
    if the words i've learned, i know, don't really reach reasoning
    but finish my brain, well, it's quite O.K.

    I say,
    the days are gray
    as something surely turns to nothing, and the pain remains,
    I see,
    the ever hungry lethal brain
    as tears of fears report emotion, speers run down my face
    i tell you not a being or thing
    even together as a team, could ever dream to reach.
    The disease!!
    try and die, as eyes rely,
    as to confide in my desires
    fire bright,....it blinds!
    blind minds!!!!

    I shake,and after i space
    the fuck away from your existance as to keep my name
    the peace cerebral programming
    emotional destruction is obstruction of my consciousness
    artificially official and i have no sense,nothing.

    Submitted on 2004-09-16 13:41:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very cool. Great word choice. I think people would definately listen and like this. In terms of lyrics they are very poetic (hey, this is a poetry site, imagine that). I think that poetry is what lyrics are missing nowadays. Great post. Keep writing.

    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by Deep_Monty | [ Reply to This ]
      everything flows.It's a great write, and you used some intresting words.I agree- the poem could be defined to fit it's rythm- but overall it's a really nice write.

    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the word choice. I have read poems that use very strong words when they are not needed, or vice versa, people who use simple words with a very deep, hard, subject. But I think this piece has word choice very well. I don't know why it reminded me of old literature, but it gives off a good vibe. Great write!
    | Posted on 2004-09-16 00:00:00 | by nj | [ Reply to This ]

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