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    dots Submission Name: The Days are Graydots

    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1025
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1144

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Days are Graydots

    Taken away!
    It's these synthesizing jungle beats, that push they are waves
    a labyrinth gaze,as horizons are gray....
    answers remain.
    Would i part ways?
    if the words i've learned, i know, don't really reach reasoning
    but finish my brain, well, it's quite O.K.

    I say,
    the days are gray
    as something surely turns to nothing, and the pain remains,
    I see,
    the ever hungry lethal brain
    as tears of fears report emotion, speers run down my face
    i tell you not a being or thing
    even together as a team, could ever dream to reach.
    The disease!!
    try and die, as eyes rely,
    as to confide in my desires
    fire bright,....it blinds!
    blind minds!!!!

    I shake,and after i space
    the fuck away from your existance as to keep my name
    the peace cerebral programming
    emotional destruction is obstruction of my consciousness
    artificially official and i have no sense,nothing.

    Submitted on 2004-09-16 13:41:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Very cool. Great word choice. I think people would definately listen and like this. In terms of lyrics they are very poetic (hey, this is a poetry site, imagine that). I think that poetry is what lyrics are missing nowadays. Great post. Keep writing.

    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by Deep_Monty | [ Reply to This ]
      everything flows.It's a great write, and you used some intresting words.I agree- the poem could be defined to fit it's rythm- but overall it's a really nice write.

    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the word choice. I have read poems that use very strong words when they are not needed, or vice versa, people who use simple words with a very deep, hard, subject. But I think this piece has word choice very well. I don't know why it reminded me of old literature, but it gives off a good vibe. Great write!
    | Posted on 2004-09-16 00:00:00 | by nj | [ Reply to This ]

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