[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: God Blinkeddots

    Author: ruejacobs
    ASL Info:    39/feminazi/Gehenna
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 619/473/167
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1331
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1215

       the whole railing against patriachs-thing which i get into every once in a while. it's about a poor cuckold who is raising a little girl which he believes is his daughter (but she's not). i read someplace (think it was in Time magazine) that approximately one in four children in America are being raised by men who believe that they fathered them, but are actually products of extramaritial affairs. i wanted to put "Social Commentary" instead of "Serious" for the mood, but, so it goes.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGod Blinkeddots

    we are not all of us
    daughters of men, sister
    how pacific Noah's blood
    a hybrid race did birth
    some throwbacks pure as Eve

    but, oh, the others
    have changeling eyes
    and witch's hair

    caught you napping, Old Man,

    a nymphette, bow in hand,
    crushing eggshells beneath her heel
    steps from such nests
    (the vine of grapes is her crown)

    don't look now, Old Man,
    she isn't yours.

    mother to daughter,
    that vintage flows
    each one distilled
    and more potent than the last.
    an intoxicating contagion...
    the DNA of gods

    mark her well, Old Man
    with the owl and the wolf.

    a tertiary satellite
    dancing like madness in her heart
    no mortal tongue
    she (we)
    no earthbound lot
    (no fairy wings either)
    no taboo
    in such creations
    there are no flaws

    in striving to control
    each wound you deal is self-inflicted

    it's not your fault, Old Man,
    God blinked.

    Submitted on 2004-09-17 15:41:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is grand, I see a trilogy with Oblique being the mate to this, and a third installment on the way I hope.
    Hope you are well and that your hair looks great when windblown, ya know.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good (as yours always are). That's an interesting statistic that I'd never think of turning into a poem. It's alos amazing social commentary. I too liked the description of the child.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
    I loved your description of the little girl, I could see her walking on the beach, beautiful and innocent. As for the father, how much does DNA really matter in the scheme of things. some men are Fathers and some just father.
    | Posted on 2004-09-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    This written by Chelebel
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Genesis written by saartha
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]