Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: God Blinkeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ruejacobs
    ASL Info:    39/feminazi/Gehenna
    Elite Ratio:    4.82 - 619/473/167
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1286
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1215



    Description:
       the whole railing against patriachs-thing which i get into every once in a while. it's about a poor cuckold who is raising a little girl which he believes is his daughter (but she's not). i read someplace (think it was in Time magazine) that approximately one in four children in America are being raised by men who believe that they fathered them, but are actually products of extramaritial affairs. i wanted to put "Social Commentary" instead of "Serious" for the mood, but, so it goes.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGod Blinkeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    we are not all of us
    daughters of men, sister
    how pacific Noah's blood
    a hybrid race did birth
    some throwbacks pure as Eve

    but, oh, the others
    have changeling eyes
    and witch's hair

    caught you napping, Old Man,
    (stupendous).

    a nymphette, bow in hand,
    crushing eggshells beneath her heel
    predatory-smiled,
    steps from such nests
    (the vine of grapes is her crown)

    don't look now, Old Man,
    she isn't yours.

    mother to daughter,
    that vintage flows
    each one distilled
    and more potent than the last.
    an intoxicating contagion...
    the DNA of gods

    mark her well, Old Man
    with the owl and the wolf.

    a tertiary satellite
    dancing like madness in her heart
    no mortal tongue
    she (we)
    no earthbound lot
    (no fairy wings either)
    no taboo
    in such creations
    there are no flaws

    in striving to control
    each wound you deal is self-inflicted

    it's not your fault, Old Man,
    God blinked.




    Submitted on 2004-09-17 15:41:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is grand, I see a trilogy with Oblique being the mate to this, and a third installment on the way I hope.
    Hope you are well and that your hair looks great when windblown, ya know.
    Dave
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good (as yours always are). That's an interesting statistic that I'd never think of turning into a poem. It's alos amazing social commentary. I too liked the description of the child.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Rue,
    I loved your description of the little girl, I could see her walking on the beach, beautiful and innocent. As for the father, how much does DNA really matter in the scheme of things. some men are Fathers and some just father.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-09-17 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    24681

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Cover written by saartha
    AI written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry