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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Death Awaits Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 929
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 837



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsDeath Awaits Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Evaluate me to the heavens
    one more minute and i'll die
    take a second, listen closely,
    i've been here but not in mind
    Why am i so damn depraved?
    vanish me to my own grave
    sinner since i started life,
    won't forget those greatful crimes
    let it be, and let me die
    you and i can be disguised,
    as human beings but not alive!

    A split second till my mind explodes
    not slow enough to avoid my sentence
    not fast enough to avoid shock treatment
    blast my brain fritz, toast till finish
    scorpion death sting, venom spitting
    my last words were "life has freed me"

    Where i went, i can't explain,
    the life i lost must be retained
    afraid of death, but now i'm slain!




    Submitted on 2004-09-17 17:57:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very good, I'm not much into the vampire scene but totally enjoy studying it and reading about it. The last word should have been "slain" however as slained is not a word other than that I thought this was well written. I like your user name too. Devil Dracula
    | Posted on 2004-09-30 00:00:00 | by littledifferent | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked your poem, it's dark, and it makes me happy to know I'm not the only one who hates the world, life, and death.I liked a few lines, but it's hard to pick which line I liked the best but one no one mentioned was "vanish me to my own grave", that one was among the ones I liked most, dude this poem rocked!
    | Posted on 2004-09-21 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      nice, original idea. i enjoyed the dark aspect to it, kinda made me feel at home...all warm and fuzzy inside. nice poem, but the first part seemed a little forced rhyming at times.
    | Posted on 2004-09-17 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      not everyone that's living is alive..
    thats sorta what i got outta it. it obviously goes deeper with you being the writer. but it was still good enough to get the main idea. i liked it; nice work.
    | Posted on 2004-09-17 00:00:00 | by BrokenRose | [ Reply to This ]


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