He bled butterflys
cascades of blue and soundly shades of red
there was no return
and his viens were hot
obstacles only consist of not knowing
the end from the beginning
yet he justly continued
metallic waves crashed onto my body
"Don't bleed on the carpet."
"Bleed on the hardwood
blood stains don't you know."
as if i cared that his mess afterwards would be a burden
as i lay there
asking for only the right side
to save me this anguish
he left a sting on my heart that will never heal
all for jealousy
and the envy that would not end
and let go
just give up and let go!"
he only chuckles and turns
with a phrase that will be my last
"Let go? Your the one leting go. You bloody coward."
with that the butterfly landed just one last time
Oh, did it sparkle
danced in the air
it didn't leave much time
for tears to flood my eyes
This is pretty good, alot of imagery, but you I think you overused the word "blood" a little, and I think that in the 8th line up from the bottom, bloody coward sounds kinda funny, I mean, its not as serious as the rest of the poem. I do like it though, know the sting of jealousy. good job, it reminds me of a song called "think twice" by eve 6.
yeah i like this. i dont know exactly what your talking about but with the message i got it was kinda like some kind of betrayal. and someone who mistreated you and/or didnt care. i like how you put this poem together. i cant explain what i mean i guess. but its good.