The last line seems a little off. You start to rhyme in it, which makes the rhythm a little more interesting, but I don't know how, but you seem to lose it on the last line. The rest of it is pretty good though.
i like the way you paint this picture of their face, but it feels like you're changing pov, even though i know you aren't. some suggestions-feel free to use 'em or lose 'em
You have one of those faces - DELETE 'YOU HAVE' That pops into my head Whenever my mind gets quiet Like a song on the radio That plays in your head - CHANGE TO 'PLAYS OVER AND OVER' And makes you start to sing - DELETE 'MAKES YOU' Them my body floods with joy - THINK YOU MEANT 'THEN' NOT 'THEM'
anyway just a thought...this is a good piece and you do an effective job with it. :-)
okay, I have no clue about which nightmare line the others are talking about but it seems like you've changed something. anyway this is a nice little love poem. you said a lot with a few words, only the repetition of 'pops' bothers me a bit. maybe 'like a song on the radio/ that your head suddenly plays'. but it's up to you. it isn't very distracting and really good as it is.