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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crimson Raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: camoflage
    ASL Info:    16/f/nc
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 459/295/71
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 1089
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1163



    Description:
       Hi everyone, well I dunno how to describe this except, well my feelings were like this on Thursday.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrimson Raindots
    -------------------------------------------


    I guess I should thank you for being such a great friend,
    not,you've messed me up to no end.
    I hope you enjoyed me,
    because of you I tried being someone I can't be.
    But you don't know the real me,
    you never took the time to see.
    You treated me like yesterday's trash,
    right now I'd like nothing better than to kick your sorry ass.
    You treated me like a contagious rash,
    I'll ask you one favor, give me a piece of glass...
    I'll use it to take away the pain,
    and you'll find me covered in crimson rain.
    By my body you'll find a note:
    I did this because your evil cackle haunts my dreams,
    let me warn you, not every things as it seems.
    I hope you enjoy the crimson rain:
    I was content before,
    but now I'm not so sure.
    When you see this crimson rain,
    I know it won't bring you pain,
    because it's not HER crimson rain.
    I hope you enjoyed breaking me,
    as now you see....
    It's you fault that I'm in pain,
    So watch the crimson rain




    Submitted on 2004-09-18 19:09:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think you meant "torchering" not "touchering"... but that's alright we all make typos. Crimson rain... does it sort of relate to blood? I liked this piece a lot from my understanding of it. I think everyone has friends that go bad, ones that really screw you over. I'm sorry you had to experience this. Crimson rain provides a powerful image of your pain, I liked it. Bravo.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      i can sense a lot of anger in this poem... loads of it... sounds like someone walked all over you and now you are sick of it, ready to peel off that dead, walked on body and become completely new and tell that person to [censored] off... great piece... another one added to my fav's.
    ~nameless child
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by nameless child | [ Reply to This ]
      I can definitly relate to your poem.Its excellent, except at the end you had a few grammer errors. Other than that I enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by Raksha | [ Reply to This ]
      this poem had a clear message but i didnt really get the flow of it. its not bad, its just a little different but thats cool. it was still very clear and you got your feelings through. not bad at all.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by BrokenRose | [ Reply to This ]
      I'll use it to take away the pain,
    and you'll find me covered in crimson rain.

    Really liked those two verses. Very good poem. Its sad how you think some ppl are your friends then you find out later, and with painful realization, that in order to be friends with them, they have changed you into something that you are not. Very sad how ppl could do this to eachother. But hey, humanity is its own worst preditor, right?

    ->Dark
    | Posted on 2004-09-24 00:00:00 | by drk_angl_17 | [ Reply to This ]


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