Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Diagnosed:Insane of Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Damien Vladimir
    ASL Info:    28/m/hollywood/Ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 122/89/35
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 758
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 995



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDiagnosed:Insane of Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    How can i be alive?
    don't even have the knowledge to explain how i've survived,
    always felt in existance
    but now i feel distanced
    for it's been a long sentence.
    Often i wonder,
    if you've seen the skies i've seen
    have you, little or no pity?
    You've killed my inner winner
    killed my soul, and made me sinner
    I haven't felt alive in so long,
    don't know even to this day if i should go along
    continue or retire,in the rain of grounds of fog
    still i can't win,by means of writing a great song

    A burn!
    there's nothing i can do to stop it,
    a cruel sensation, getting on my nerve
    i'm standing in a lava faucet,
    coals on coals, on coals, on coals
    stacked on up, and no one knows....The feeling!
    wishing my mind that i was dreaming.
    from all the pressure in my head,my ears are bleeding.




    Submitted on 2004-09-18 19:23:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You seem to be a little confused in life, and it really shows here. You seem to be going through the stage where you wonder the unanswerable questions and go mad because there are no logical answers. You seem to think there is a lack of meaning, life is a big pile of chaos, and I have to say I agree. I loved this piece because it was so all over the place! Sometimes poetry that is places in perfect structure absolutely stinks because it does not pertain to life. I thought this was excellent, and it striked me because it just seems so real, like something that would actually flow out of someone's brain. Good job... I know I'd weird.
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by Cai | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this...especially the title...im depressed today so i guess anything in this subject would appeal to me...but i still like this..
    | Posted on 2004-09-18 00:00:00 | by alma-perdida | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    24827

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Etiquette written by saartha
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry