Not Now by Deep

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Submission Name: Not Now dots

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Author:	Deep_Monty
Elite Ratio:	3.42 - 52/76/20
Words:	136

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	336
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	790

Description:
This poem is obviously about a certain girl. I can only hope you will return the emotions.

Not Now

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Every once and a while
I find myself looking at you,
through the corner of my eye.
And I see you and I behold your beauty,
For you are my savior,
yet you torment me so.

Every once in a while
I find myself longing for you.
You talk to me and I talk back.
I show none of my true feelings,
Just once would I like show you,
What my feelings truly are.

I am afraid.
Afraid that things will never be the same,
Afraid that you might avoid me.
Think I am a freak, an idiot.
For I know that you will not be mine.
Not now, not one hundred years from now.
Maybe in a different place, and a different time.
But not now.
I know it will not be now.

Submitted on 2004-09-19 01:24:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  this reminds me of a poem i wrote describing this type of love.

Joyful Pain
-

Another night and here I am
Setting in the dark again

Another day goes by and still asking why
Why do I feel the same constant pain?

Is it my mind,thoughts,or my heart
Is it an illusion,delusion,or confusion,I'm not certain

Though certain of the reason and cause
The rose falls a part and dies without rain

You see the pain I feel is joyful,yet
Leaves a burning sensation deep within

Not a mistake,a regrettable fun,or unforgiven sin
Not a hidden secret of a fruitless past
Abandoned and left behind like snake's skin

Not lost hopes,or shattered dreams never came to be
Not lost time or efforts of running for the win

It's the pain of an aching lover
Who suffers every hour, yet keeps it in
| Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by bilal anaim | [ Reply to This ]
  I'll not comment on the poem for this reason: Be very careful about using this site as a message board. I've done so many times and I've found taht I would have been better off saying things explicitly. People read what they expect to see, nothing else. Unless you know exacltly what this woman is thinking, don't try and communicate in poetry!
shard
| Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
  I know EXACTLY how you feel. Unfortunately, my situation is complicated. With a girlfriend thrown in there somewhere. Good luck with this girl.
I enjoyed the poem, but the ending is a bit abrupt. It seems to be missing a punch line, something that sticks, at the very end.
Keep up the good work
-Andrya
| Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]

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