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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: An Act Of Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Apocalyptica
    Elite Ratio:    6.41 - 79/66/10
    Words: 184
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1073
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1046



    Description:
       I'm not a self-destructive person; this kind of came out of nowhere. This is as dark as it gets with my writing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAn Act Of Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I plunge this knife into my veins
    And take the pills to stop the pain
    Roches, Roophies, whatever they are
    Tonight they値l be my shooting star

    I wish it hadn稚 come to this
    Wish we had shared just one last kiss
    I see your face and can稚 resist
    To drop the tabs and slit my wrists


    Now I lay me down to sleep
    For you, my love, the joy you値l reap
    And when I die before I wake
    Tear out my heart, for old times sake


    I lay here bleeding on my bed
    I値l think of you until I知 dead
    Our first kiss and our first date
    Times before love turned to hate

    I hope to God this goes by fast
    Hope you can smile once I致e passed
    I see the light, and see us as well
    The ghost of our love, gone straight to Hell


    Now I lay me down to sleep
    For you, my love, the joy you値l reap
    And when I die before I wake
    Tear out my heart, for old times sake




    Submitted on 2004-09-19 03:00:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      We should talk I mean literally because I have felt like this so many times it's not even funny any more. I have had my heart ripped out before my eyes and I think maybe you are one of the only people who might actually understand what it feels like. I was betrayed by two people all in the same day for thesame reason. I loved this peice and you could join a band and I think that if you aren't already in one you should be, I know I would come to hear you play if I wasn't so far away. I also like how you added religion in it as well, although I have not exactly believed the way I should have at one time about it but I do now.
    | Posted on 2005-01-12 00:00:00 | by ForsakenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      again I want to start writing music to back this peice. I love the emotion that you hold in such sinple verse. I feel ya' bro, you should join an emo band. lol
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
      again I want to start writing music to back this peice. I love the emotion that you hold in such sinple verse. I feel ya' bro, you should join an emo band. lol
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
      I love how you take religious imagery and phrasing to twist them around to create something completely off the wall.

    Now I lay me down to sleep,
    for you, my love, the joy you'll reap,
    and when I die before I wake,
    Tear out my heart, for old times sake.

    great stanza and I like how you reapeated it at the end Kinda seems like to make your point that much stronger.

    P.S. I don't know if you meant to do it but I also like how you said
    "when I die before I wake" instead of "If" Like there is no other option.
    | Posted on 2004-09-21 00:00:00 | by Kapone | [ Reply to This ]
      sounds like something my sis would attempt after a bad break up. so i can sorta understand what you are going through just from watchin my sister and her past relationships... you can go to far with love and end up hurting yourself in the end. but then again sometimes the first few loves of your life arent the right ones... but you learn from them... just try not to take it the wrong way.
    ~nameless child
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by nameless child | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a powerful piece well characterized by the severity of the theme. I believe everyone can relate with these emotions even if never acted upon heartbreak causes these ideals to be present. The more you love someone the more you can get hurt. I believe the previous comment to be from someone who never has truly felt loves kiss. You are avery talented writer. I hope you keep up the good work and I will keep up on your peices.
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by Thornful Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      hey great writeing dude. its full of hate and i like it. the bes part is the ending. the repeat of th lines:
    'Now I lay me down to sleep
    For you, my love, the joy you値l reap
    And when I die before I wake
    Tear out my heart, for old times sake'

    thats just awesome. my only sugestion for a change is the line:
    'Times before love had turned into hate'.
    i think it would sound better as:
    'Times before love turned to hate'
    but other than that slight slow problem its a really great poem.
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ]
      Good job at putting this wonderful piece together .It verges on violence , yet it has an element of gentility hiding somewhere , for the man is willing to die for his love ...nice ...
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by Sophia | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing how fiction breeds the best poetry. I loved this piece, although it was pretty slim on the figurative language front. Just the same it made up in raw emotion and simple truths...fav.
    shard
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by particularshard | [ Reply to This ]
      i don't know what to tell u buddy, but i know for sure that no love in this world is worth killing urself for.believe me friend as u grow older u will find alot more fish in the ocean.
    good luck
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by bilal anaim | [ Reply to This ]


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