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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To Cover a Holedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 40
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 835
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 240



    Description:
       This isn't about any current situation, but I suppose everyone has gottten carried away with someone to fill a hole.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo Cover a Holedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I tried to use you
    as a patch
    to cover a hole in my life,
    a bandage
    for my soul,
    but the wound is deep,
    and the edges sharp.
    The world is a scouring pad
    and breaks through any barrier.




    Submitted on 2004-09-19 10:07:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      whoa this is really cool and deep and true..i guess that sounds really cliché but when i really like something i'm usually reduced to a kid going "i like it! i get it!". plus i'm a mess lately so it hit me somewhere deep.
    | Posted on 2004-09-20 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this. I think it's only human to want someone to act as the band-aides to what wounds we've suffered in our lives. It's difficult to realize that we can't expect that of another person, but yet in a way, I think it is possible.
    | Posted on 2004-09-20 00:00:00 | by Jonathan Lennox | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem must be about John Little. Was too small to cover the hole see? Nice way of telling him that he didn't make the grade. In fact, he was no patch on the problem. Cheer up Amy. Unless we smile once a day, it seems like everything is directed against us. Sometimes it isn't, and the best we can do is enjoy life while we have it. Ooh, I could take some of that advice myself right about now. Bitter pills and all.
    | Posted on 2004-09-20 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      well, you gave me a hard time looking up scour (my online dictionary didn't know it but I found it in the real one). anyway it fits very well. good word choice here. just a little suggestion: conncet "the edges sharp" with an "and" to the line before. and replace the "and" in the last line with "which" or "that". sounds better in my ear. but it's up to you. however this is a really good poem. depressing but really good. well done.
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      ouch! i can feel that scouring pad, big time... it hurts a lot, sometimes, doesn't it? for us extra-sensitive types, that brillo is so harsh! you've put it very well and true, at least for me. you can't really use someone else (or a drug or alcohol) to fill that hole in yourself. we try, though, don't we? i'm glad i have my faith, which really has been helping me out a lot lately. i miss you!
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh man. I can relate to this way too much. There are so many people that, in retrospect, I realize I've used only to hide me from my pain. I like this poem, very much.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a nice write, but like some of the others said, it brings the word rebound to mind.I don't exactly understand where your comming from but hey it's a nice write, and it seems others understand where your comming from
    -camoflage
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]
      This is interesting. It brings to mind a 'rebound' relationship, like the speaker was trying to fill the void left by the previous lover.
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by curiosityskitty | [ Reply to This ]
      Some great word usage as usual. A scouring pad, eh? Like the world takes everything and marks are left of what we've done. Very nice indeed. I can't particularly relate what you've described but I know a lot of people who have. Nice write.
    | Posted on 2004-09-19 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      hiding behind relationships. but relationships for the wrong reasons are easily eroded by the big world's constant abrasions. this was an interesting concept.
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by jdinning67 | [ Reply to This ]


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