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are we ok?

Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 28
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1130
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 205


are we ok?

Are we ok?
You asked me
After we…
After we …
After we…
Fell back down from the stars.
You knew we are ok.

Submitted on 2004-09-19 23:53:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  hm... short, simple... not bad at all considering length. i'm gonna let u in on a quick suggestion though. i've told this to another writer i noticed had the same thing going on:
you're writing is short and gets a point across. however, it's seems to have left something behind. i can see more just begging to be added to this. more description, more story, more history, more feeling... i can feel untapped potential, as if you're holding back. don't. go for it. everything or nothing. that's what'll get you far.
with that said, congrats. you're on my fav list.
welcome to the site
| Posted on 2004-09-20 00:00:00 | by hybridmagnolia | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?