Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Springtime is Violentdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 803
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 564



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpringtime is Violentdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Springtime is violent--
    blades of grass fling themselves toward the sun.
    Flowers knock their heads around and between rocks,
    and heavy raindrops bludgeon the ground.
    As the air sweetens,
    emotions get equally fickle,
    equally harsh.
    You pledge your undying love
    then tell me to go to hell
    while your body trembles with need.
    As I walk away,
    you chase me, tackle me
    and kisses rain down like it's April,
    but all is forgiven
    as we mesmerize each other with smiles.




    Submitted on 2004-09-21 15:30:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      That's pretty hot stuff. How can you go wrong with spring,flowers and kisses(and desire)all in the same poem. I don't really care cause it doesn't hurt the piece but the fruit won't be heavy 'til late summer. Love ya!
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Well... that's one way to see Spring, lol
    I liked it. At first i thought it was just a different view of Spring, but as i read further down, i saw it was deeper than that. I don't want to ruin this for ay future readers, but i'll be really blank about it. Better yet, how bout i just keep my interpretation to myself? It is deep though people, so read it a couple of times to make sure you get it.
    AKen Sol
    | Posted on 2004-09-21 00:00:00 | by Aken Sol | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting viewpoint. very original to compare love to springtime, but it fits. I understand the flowers and rock part, I find it quite amazing how such little plants grow through everything. but my favourite part were the lines
    "You chase me, tackle me
    And kisses rain down like it's April
    But all is forgiven
    As we mesmerize each other with smiles"
    a great ending, I especially like the part about the kisses. very well done, Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-09-21 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Such great images of Spring...very creative way of thinking about it. Fantastic how the fruit "bludgeons" the ground. (I like that word) Love how the poem seemlessly changes from the "violent" description of nature to the "equally harsh" business of romance. You do a great job of creating the world of the restless lovers...gives the feeling of too much emotion to contain. Very enjoyable piece!
    | Posted on 2004-09-21 00:00:00 | by marysunshine | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    25148

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Etiquette written by saartha
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    The World written by jjd
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Cover written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry