Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

you hold my hand


Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 84
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1171
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 451



Description:


What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


you hold my hand



You hold my hand, and
We go to a time, a place,
To a space where the
Water leaves the ocean, to kiss
the sand beneath our feet.
Our fingers meet and
We become one.
The music in our lives
Beat to the same
Ageless rhythm and we
show our love.
You hold my hand
As you demand
The world to see
That I am yours and
You belong to me.




Submitted on 2004-09-22 00:12:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  "A truly romantic piece of work ringing with honesty and emotion. "We go to a time, a place, To a space where the water leaves the ocean, to kiss the sand beneath our feet."--great lines--You express yourself very well---Great job--will check in on more of your stuff.----
---Mugs--
| Posted on 2006-07-16 00:00:00 | by mugsy | [ Reply to This ]
  That is great!
Very sweet short poem but it says more and hide deep love to this one you love, I hope it was me . I'm going to add it to my favourites.
Well done.
Khaled Abdallah.
| Posted on 2004-09-26 00:00:00 | by Khaled AbdAllah | [ Reply to This ]
  this is so awesome! it reminds me of my girl back home. you really hit me with this one, hands are the best, when i take my girls hand, there is NOTHING better than that...other than...well, we won't go there, thank you for writing this, i enjoyed ot immensely. God, you got me missing her like crazy! great job
| Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]
  Very sweet and simple, and yet I loved it. I think many people can relate to this, touch can bring out so many feelings. Especially with someone you love. A simple act like holding hands has so many hidden meanings, it is a connection and a badge. It shows the world that you stand united with the one beside you, and they are your's and you are their's. You conveyed this beautifully. Good job my friend, keep it up.
| Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by ACircuitShock | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



25212