Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Gangfight of Clichesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1201
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 631



    Description:
       I wish this site recognised accented characters.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGangfight of Clichesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It was the bloodiest spectacle I'd ever seen.
    Cliches fighting each other to the death:
    torn to bits,
    riddled with holes...
    Bored to tears used the cutting edge
    to kill dead as a doornail
    make a killing passed away
    at the hands of death's doorstep,
    for they were bored as boards of themselves
    tired of writers using them like whores,
    but they were gangbangers instead
    fighting over turf,
    Their little slices of heaven.
    Now they're all gone:
    It's sad, but true,
    And the winner is in the eye of the beholder.




    Submitted on 2004-09-22 06:07:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Personally, I have no objections to clichés at all. Actually, I quite like them. Anyone that has read my poems knows that. I don't see what the big deal is... it's a part of life, seriously. So, I didn't like this poem at all. That may sound harsh, ok it is harsh, but you have alot of fans of this poem, so I figured I'd be the oddball. I just HATE reading comments that tell somebody their poem wuz cliché, oh boy that's annoying!
    | Posted on 2004-12-21 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it! I'm very big on anything that's a "play one words." I read a childrens book once that was very similar in that sense. I agree that clichés are a bit out of hand, but in a sense, they're fun to have around, if not for them, what would we laugh at when we watch another stenciled hollywood movie?
    | Posted on 2004-10-06 00:00:00 | by Jonathan Lennox | [ Reply to This ]
      haha... i very agree... clichés must DIE! haha! did you get any satisfaction out of killing all the clichés you possibly could all at once? its gotta be done... thanx for sharing!
    | Posted on 2004-10-04 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this one. There's just something special about skillfully arranged cliché overkill. This is reminiscent of Cliche Cafe. Very nice
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the piece. You really could have went on though. I think it may have been possible to construct the entire poem of clichés without using any other words(ha!) Nice work.
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      "For they were bored as boards of themselves"
    is a great sentence. The only problem is some people cannot see the difference - so the 'cliché' term (actually developed differently by each one of us) doesn't exist for them muchly. So the problem does not exist for them as well - and when I read the next not-challenging and direct poem on Eliteskills, I want to turn off the computer (though I know that 99,9% of my pieces land in trash). Your piece is tricky, it's like getting into 'look & feel' of real, fat, clumsy cliché. Well done.
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by Nightraven | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the use of different metaphors to describe the battle of creativity...There could have been a little more clarity in a few of the lines, but it is still a daring piece...
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by Sunray | [ Reply to This ]
      "For they were bored as boards of themselves" doesn't make so much sense in my mind. is that just me?? could be cause I'm German and you're the English tutor. if it does make sense tell me which one.
    anyway a nice little piece. although I like the expression "sad, but true" (cliché or not) cause I'm a Metallica fan and that's the title of one of their songs. and 'dead' two times in two lines is a bit much.
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was like Deja Vu all over again! I enjoyed the great balls of fire it took to write this poem. You certainly proved your point (and combed your hair around it nicely), not to mention the fact that no animals were actually harmed in the writing of this poem.

    You made me laugh... not a foolish har-har type of laugh... nor a guffaw... just a laugh.

    Thank you.
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      lol! what a great piece! gee, i can't imagine ANY writer overusing clichés-can you?

    only nit is this line, which doesn't flow very well: 'For they were bored to sick of themselves'

    think you should drop 'to'. other than that, nice job. :-)
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      This is the best poem I've ever read. It has to be the be-all and end-all of poems, the best in the world, a 100% improvement for you.
    I could just read this and die a happy man.
    Oh, look what you've started.
    | Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually laughed out loud on virtually every line. Unfortunately I'm not clever enough to reply as tritely as possible. I especially love the last line. An instant classic.
    | Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    25228

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry