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    dots Submission Name: Abandoned Here Alonedots

    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 933
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1025

       This is about a couple...or maybe close friends. They promised that they would always be together, but childhood promises often get brogen and one of them leaves the other behind. The poem is about how betrayed and alone this person feels...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAbandoned Here Alonedots

    Standing in the rain,
    Tears running down my cheek.
    Waiting here alone
    For a promise you didn’t keep.

    You told me that we’d go—
    Get out of here together.
    You promised me the world,
    And we clearly said “forever.”

    All the smiles and the hugs,
    All the memories once shared—
    They meant everything to me
    And I thought you truly cared.

    Now I stand here by myself,
    Waiting for you to arrive.
    Tears streaming down my face,
    I’m not sure how to survive.

    I have packed up all my bags.
    Standing here, inside I scream,
    Waiting for a memory—
    A promise of a childish dream.

    I stand here by myself
    As my thoughts begin to stray.
    Once I finally realize
    That you have gone away.

    Abandoned here alone,
    Face turned back to the past.
    Memories too wonderful—
    Can’t believe I thought they’d last…

    Submitted on 2004-09-22 21:46:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I was worried this was going to be really bad...teeage type clichés...there were plenty there I guess but you carried it off and by the end I felt pretty bad for the narrator....so given the subject you did a fine job. Smooth ride too....which is something to be admired and for you to feel good about...you only have to see rhymed versed butchered to appreciate it when someone brings it to life. goodstuff
    | Posted on 2004-09-22 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

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