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a note


Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 82
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1034
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 510



Description:


What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


a note



Tall, graceful, pretty
To eyes that never
Belonged to you.
You only thought
About the things
You have to do
To be thinner.

There was a time
You began to disappear.
Filled with fear,
I burned
As I learned
The truth behind
The bruises on your knuckles
The thinning of your hair
The things you do.

I sat and cried
I vowed and tried
To help
You.




Submitted on 2004-09-23 02:19:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Kute poem! True in it's way! I know a few of them and they dont want help they denie they are what they are but I can only do so much! Hope u have better luck!
| Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]
  Um, this sounds more like bulimia than anorexia. In anorexia you just don't eat. Bulimia is the disease in which you make yourself vomit or take laxatives/ duretics. I know this because I was a near anorexic/compulsive exerciser in high shcool. My mom get me help before I got "too bad" though. I'm not a fan of rhyme in serious pieces, but kudos for tackling a difficult subject.
| Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  beautifully put down a topic we all know. I really like the way you built the poem. at first you point out the why and the beauty. but as time passes, and the poem continues, the effects of the disease kicks in. and you realise the problem.

the ending, helpless and unable to help...

well done
| Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by FantasizedDream | [ Reply to This ]
  You misspelled graceful too. I'll type stuff to make this long enough. Blah, blah, blah. La, la, la. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it's sufficiently long now.
| Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]


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