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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vigil for Forgotten Wordsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1112
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 518



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVigil for Forgotten Wordsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I think I'll hold a vigil
    light a candle or two
    for all of those poems,
    those crystals of thought
    that fled on lightning legs
    before I could pen them
    like circus animals contained,
    but instead of peace
    I want their ghosts to linger,
    then I can put them onto paper
    like placing them in a restful grave
    in second-rate secondhand reproductions,
    for even a glint of their brilliance
    cancels an atom of ugliness from the world.




    Submitted on 2004-09-23 21:02:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ahh, I like this, an ode to flighty inspiration. Too bloody flighty in fact, I'm with you on that. I'm lucky, in that I rarely forget the things I want to write about, but I find that if I don't write the moment the inspiration hits, I've only got about a 35% chance of the poem being any good when I get round to it eventually. I think it's the adrenaline rush of luicd thought that unlocks the ideas surrounding the initial theme, causing them to surge out. After that rush wears off, it's... just not the same, is it?

    The only thing about this that I didn't like was the circus animals. Circuses are so brash and gaudy, and this was very translucent, full of light and gentle up to that point. I liked "crystals of thought" and "lightning legs", and the idea of a vigil... definitely an original take on a subject that touches us all.
    | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it. Sometimes I will forget something I was about to write or say, and feel really sad. Though I'll never remember it, I remember it was really important. I love the way you word this one, and keep the main topic of holding the vigil throughout the poem.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-09-25 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      Amen! Sweet as!...(anything with a sweet in it coming from a kiwi means, excellent) Got no advice for you...the phrases and ideas are all pretty new and well chosen, the poems flows wonderfully and I enjoyed it which is always a nice surprise on on these boards where each poem's a lottery. Thanks for the cool read
    | Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      It left me a little lost, maybe i'm just lost in general. Good work though, great wording...
    It really interests me to read peotry that has a different flow than my own, gives me ideas.
    | Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by lost_escape | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah that happens to me often now. Used to work part time, but now am full time. lots of my writes come when I'm at work and so now no time for me to record them on paper. have to try to remember them, but that's hard to do. anyway that's what I get from your poem. i like this!
    | Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by hotrodruss | [ Reply to This ]
      I find it interesting that the lack of punctation doesn't seem to matter here. I can never do that. And the content is quite sweet, very enjoyable. The imagery so easy...to follow, I mean. The only crit I have, I guess, is that I had to read the last 3 more than a couple of times, but that could be my delirium, who knows...
    | Posted on 2004-09-23 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]
      A vigil to all that escapes the grey matter before making it into black and white? I'll drink to that. Wait, maybe that's why I can't remember in the first place!
    | Posted on 2004-09-24 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      nice picture. you make it hard to criticize here. I can't think of something I would change here. your images are great and vivid. the ending
    "For even a glint of their brilliance
    Cancels an atom of ugliness from the world"
    is powerful and my favourite part of the poem. very well done, Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-09-24 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      love the last line! would that we could do that, there's so much ugliness in the world... this reminds me of the songs that i write, fully-written, in my sleep. happened the other night, and it was a great song as i remember! i wake up and it's gone! aarrgggh! i liked this a lot, 'cause there are a lot of these sweet poems floating around the universe... too bad we can't retrieve them!
    | Posted on 2004-09-24 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Are you playing one-ups with me? You write these great little visuals, and so I write one too, and then you just HAD to come out with this beautiful gem. "Second rate secondhand reproductions," wonderfully employed device here.. the whole thing just lit up my day.
    | Posted on 2004-09-24 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      If I could capture all the words I've lost then I think I would run out of space on my computer for the folder I keep all of my work in would be a few hundred gb's big. This was truly beautiful. the last two lines really just take this piece you have and end it in such a way I dont have the words. It gracefully moves foward and allows all to know what your saying and agree because they have felt it as well.Cry not for the words weve lost but rejoice for the ones weve held onto.-John
    | Posted on 2004-09-24 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]


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