I think I agree with Sandburg. I enjoyed the abstract presentation very much so. The part I really loved, though, was the feeling. There is an overall passion or maybe even redemption that I think seems to jump out.
This is a bit too abstract for my liking. Some lines have merit on their own but combined the impact is lost. You do mention 'two visions' in the description so perhaps you should build on them separately?
The first four lines are so abstract that I can't come up with any ideas about them, but the second four, those are something I can understand and appreciate. The darkest of nights is an allusion to death, and your faith is telling you to take an intercessor with you before standing judgement for the last time. I liked the diction. Still cluless with regards to the moth wing and waterless shattered dreams. Are those waterless dreams an allusion to hell? Interesting, made me stop and think, hope I remember to start again. Dave
Submission Name: Personal witch hunt
