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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Three of Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 42
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 622
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 254



    Description:
       


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    dotsThree of Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    I guess I'll kill the woman you made of me
    and rebirth myself as someone new
    because I was a different person before we met.
    I'll keep this face just to remind you
    of the girl you knew before.






    Submitted on 2004-09-25 14:18:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      okay, where are the three?? first the woman he made you to be, then the real you and last but not least the girl he knew. but isn't the girl he knew the woman he made you to be?? could be that I'm a bit retarded at the moment (it's already late...).
    anyway I like this piece. you have chosen to write about something very common (unfortunately a lot of women tend to let guys make them into a different person) but you did it very well and in an original way. the first line is really good. it's interesting and draws the reader in cause he/she wants to know your motif. very well done, Amy.
    | Posted on 2004-09-26 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      you changed yourself to please someone else, i'm guessing... (maybe not really, 'cause i know you don't always write from experience). we all have the capacity to do this, be someone we're not just to be with someone. not a good idea, eh? it's like wearing different masks. we all do that to some extent. i like the idea of "killing" the woman he made you, 'cause she's really not you. do it up royale, then! have a funeral and everything for her. let her rot, um, rest in peace! i like it!
    | Posted on 2004-09-26 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Short and straight to the point. Very good poem on a very complex subject. Interesting point at the end. I like it very much, and I can relate completly (unfortunate).
    | Posted on 2004-09-25 00:00:00 | by Poly Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      this was great i really like the word choice. very powerful. i love how it was short and to the point. i love the first two lines the most.great work lia
    | Posted on 2004-09-25 00:00:00 | by lili | [ Reply to This ]
      Dinner with the dog huh....I liked the intent here. I feel maybe line 3 is redundant given the lines that surround it. Not the newest idea out there so I feel this one falls a little short considering its length......and the power of the lines
    Really needs to be more potent or paint a vividly fresh scene from the same theme to stand out. Promising
    | Posted on 2004-09-25 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... such an interesting concept. You hear of people becoming very different when they meet a certain person, but when you don't like your new self, there's some thing wrong. I like it very much.

    -emo.
    | Posted on 2004-09-25 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]


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