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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Freedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kera
    ASL Info:    18-f-NH
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 116/129/29
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 980
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 882



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFreedots
    -------------------------------------------


    to be free, i need to run,
    run from these bodies,
    bodies that hang and see,
    see all that is going on,
    on in my head,

    to be free, i need to hide,
    hide from all the pain,
    pain flowing through my veins,
    veins that are corrupted by evil,
    evil in my head.

    there standing lifeless,
    bodies hanging lifeless,
    pain evil lifeless,
    seeing hearing lifeless.

    to be free, i need to see,
    all that no one can hear,
    but live all that can die;
    to die for death,
    and bleed for blood.

    to be free, I need to confide and believe,
    that those bodies hanging ,
    never haunt me again,
    haunt in my head.

    haunting belief,
    that evil pain,
    lingering in hanging bodies,
    is now dead.




    Submitted on 2004-09-25 22:07:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think that the poem was pretty good but because of lack of punctuation and proper capitalization it was a little difficult to follow. It was almost not worth my time because I really couldn't get into it. I saw nothing from the descriptions really except for what I generally see from this type of work. Perhaps you could consider revising and adding the necessary capitals and sentence ending punctuation.
    | Posted on 2004-09-26 00:00:00 | by Kenji Light | [ Reply to This ]
      outstanding, another hardhitting poem.I should take lessons from you lol, your the same age as me so..any wayz...It's stong althouh alittle repetive, but is filled with imagery, It reminded me of Stephen Kings Slaem's Lot, for a minute, with the hanging bodieds.lol.Well another good write.Rock On
    -camoflage
    | Posted on 2004-09-25 00:00:00 | by camoflage | [ Reply to This ]


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