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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Daredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Scribbles1338
    ASL Info:    18/Female/St. Louis
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 169/167/37
    Words: 67
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 1237
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 418



    Description:
       Am I flying yet?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDaredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Standing on the edge,
    Daring the world
    To push me
    One step further.
    I laugh life in the face!
    Powerful,
    I have learned
    To take whatever I am given
    By the world.
    It had had once taunted me,
    But I do not care any longer.
    I am strong,
    Daring the world
    To push me,
    Just to see if I can fly…







    Submitted on 2004-09-26 23:34:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You have a repeated word in "It had had once taunted me." I don't think you need the ellipsis at the end. This poem has a good message behind it. Maybe you could add some imagery.
    | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      direct and severely passionate about the sense of power. i think you did well in trying to capture one of the most beautiful sides of a human being. i'm not gonna tell you how it should have been done because your work represents the similar tide of poetry... free and expressive. but i am gonna tell you that i like your poem even though i'm not a big fan of inspirational ones.
    | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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