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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shoot 2 Killdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: the apocrypha
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 185/192/48
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1407
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 480



    Description:
       Experimental, as usual.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShoot 2 Killdots
    -------------------------------------------


    And somehow
    (Dripping like a lullaby)
    Swirling into the ear
    (All these reasons are no reason why)
    Everything had to... disapp e a r ! !

    Rrrrrrip-p-i-n-g the psyche
    Through tons of... swarming memories
    (...it comes to life)
    Blazing like burning
    Iridescent lights
    The (most compelling) yearning

    (For murder)
    .
    .
    .
    Is brought (back) to life - - - ------
    .




    Submitted on 2004-09-27 20:34:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow. I really like the style how you streach everything out to emphisize it and then use ( ) to do the same in a softer tone. Like a whisper. I also liked the ... Pauses... like you are thinking ... making the
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me in a very faint way of EA Poe. Not that this is his style, but, I don't know, I just feel Poe-y when I read this. I don't know that I can give higher praise to a poem than it makes me feel Poe-y; nor can I sound like more of a douche! ;)
    | Posted on 2005-01-24 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the style, and I take the murder to be an exaggeration of anger. It's spelled "Iridescent" though. I'm the lines "Blazing like burning/ Iridescent lights" because at first it sounds bad because the words are so similar in meaning that it's like saying "Speaking like talking" or something, but you read the next line, and it makes perfect sense. That's clever.
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This si different, I like it. Very unique. I havent really seen any like this. Unique is very good.. keep writing.
    | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by Kera | [ Reply to This ]


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