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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flow and Disruption.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Torie
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 176/194/39
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 317
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 965



    Description:
       Poetry is flow, disrupted.
    Disrupted by metre.
    Disrupted by trance.

    I am the flow, disrupted,
    By you.

    Victor.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlow and Disruption.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Freedon is hiding under a leaf
    so easy to walk on
    so easy to slip on
    but how delicate
    and indeed, how beautiful.

    The flow of my moods,
    like light and clouds over the earth,
    leaves the earth unchanged
    ready and eager for the newest and freshest
    but always asking that I let go
    and let the moods flow.

    I interrupt the moods and ask, why?
    Why do they flow?
    Why do they flow into each other?
    How is it I dare interrupt
    when they flow for their own sake?

    How addictive interruption is!
    It is so addictive, I believe it is good for me.
    I seek the powers of interruption
    I am the coolest
    Of interrupters.

    But how I long to flow.
    I flow into the piano sonata
    and out into the the kangaroo;
    into the song of the Currawong
    until I flow into you.

    Victor.




    Submitted on 2004-09-27 22:32:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Great Caesar's Ghost, Linaire,
    You've joined up with Scribbles.
    Scribbles attacks on the right
    and Linaire attacks on the left.

    I am not surrounded yet
    maybe I can still escape
    into the land of praise.

    Praise soothes my skin
    while criticism pricks me.

    I would love a massage of praise.

    Victor.
    | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by Torie | [ Reply to This ]
      Good Heavens Scribbles,
    I ask for praise and you tell me I can't cut it.
    I ask for praise and you tell me to cut it out.
    I ask for praise and you tell me I am repetitive.

    I use the same words over and over again to put your critical mind to sleep. I want your praise. I was told your style is praise. Have I been misinformed.
    Victor.
    | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by Torie | [ Reply to This ]
      Something about it just ddin't flow too well. I don't know...not really my style. It's pretty good overall, but I just don't connect with it. It's extremely repetitive and you seem to be overusing the same words over and over again, and the way the poem is written, that just doesn't cut it. The general theme is pretty interesting though.
    | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by Scribbles1338 | [ Reply to This ]
      Except that 'freedon' should be spelled 'freedom' I think this poem is lovely.

    The flow is so flowy I didn't even notice where the stanzas began and ended. While reading this I felt as if floating on a pretty pink cloud, carried on by a summer breeze.

    The brats who failed to see you wanted praise also seemed to be too close minded to open themselves up to your light footed style and humor. But even teamed up they're but a snow flake in a sultry summer wind.

    I decided to stalk you as an aknowledgement of your poetic genius.

    Take my hand Torie, let me lead you to the land of praise.
    | Posted on 2004-11-27 00:00:00 | by Lostinbeer | [ Reply to This ]



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