Caution: Beware of Falling Rocks!
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Description:
I had no specific story behind this poem, but it is not suicide, although everyone seems to think that. I think it's more about making a difficult decision than anything else...no particular decision though...
Caution: Beware of Falling Rocks!
Upon the shoreline Near a cliff She gazes out to sea And with her silent solitude She’s longing to be free As darkness falls The tide retreats She cries a wistful tear And gazing at the sea below She faces her worst fear The cliff stands tall Its silhouette Protrudes into the night Even with peril in her eyes She will keep up the fight A yellow sign Lit by the moon Points out the danger here And while she gazes out to sea She feels the end is near |
Submitted on 2004-09-27 22:36:40 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Maybe others cannot see that there are decisions in life that are extreamely difficult without causing suicidal thoughts! I liked your poem alot and have been to the side of the ocean/lake and contemplated hard decisions and therefore relate. Great poem.| | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by aldergrovegal | [ Reply to This ] | well, it sounds like it would be a suicide poem. especially with that last line. maybe you could change it to something "weaker" that doesn't make people immediately think about suicide. | anyway I like the poem, you've described the scenery very well and also set an atmosphere and tone. but I have to agree with boarderlinetears. the title doesn't fit. it has some kind of happy connotation that doesn't match with your sad tone here. although I know that on real street signs something like that stands. but people expect something more light-hearted after reading this title. | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ] | I was thinking the same thoughts as borderllinertears about the title, and I wsa not thinking suicide at all, except for maybe the last line,, I don't know if the end is near is a good way to end thhe poem...... | Ilike the imagery and this is a poem that ppl can connect to... the only things I would work o is the last lines of each stanza, I don't knw if they are in keeping with the message you aare trying to get across..... | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ] | I didn't think it was about sucide at all. I believe it's about someone who is at a cross roads of her life and goes to the ocean to make important decisions about her life. I actually go to the ocean when I find myself at cross roads and it does wonders. You painted a very thought provoking picture. Adding it to my favs. | | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by Pogirl | [ Reply to This ] | I agree that the title doesn't match the content you intend (going by your description. This is a fine example of fluid writing that also has great imagery and flows through a logicals sequence...it shows good theme development and use of language...smooth smooth ride. Top effort in my book |  Excellent!| Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ] | This title doesn't match the poem. The poem itself brings a haunted, horror movie feel to me and the title seems to be more on the funny side.? Just wondering why you picked that title. This poem is good and would be great along with a scary movie. The only thing I suggest to work on is the title. |  -blt | Posted on 2004-09-27 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ] | |
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