Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beyond the Door of Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tears of Azrael
    ASL Info:    14/F/Lost
    Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 107/102/25
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 995
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 842



    Description:
       I was writing this on a piece of notebook paper when I was waiting at the hair salon....so it's very random and creepy. Again, the death perspective! (Sorry...can't help it -_-;;)
    This is merely how I see the world....or foresee it in my own twisted way.
    Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeyond the Door of Deathdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darkness lies beyond an open door
    Door of death, of joy no more
    Everything is black, no color to behold
    A melancholic wind whispers in this dead world
    The life is dying
    The grief is horrifying
    Feelings of pain
    Minds insane
    Faces full of dread
    Love they never had
    Fugitives from a runaway train
    Beasts not yet slain
    A stream of water once so pure, now blood and disease
    Marks the spot where many were killed upon their knees
    Beneath an orchid of bones, witches were hung
    Beneath the setting sun, melodies of sorrow were sung
    The cold moon sits upon its crimson skies
    Watching and spreading the tears and lies
    Evil has come and it is here to stay
    For all the destruction we have caused, this is our price to pay




    Submitted on 2004-09-28 18:05:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW... that is not fair! you can ryme and make it sound awsome! when ever i do it it makes it sound really stupid. I envy you! OH! Also, The flow is ok somtimes, but other times it kinda sticks out. can't really pick it out exactly where but it seems to be interuped somtimes. but i love it. (thanks for reading blood lust. it is ok that you didn't put it on your fav list there is no law that says your should. but i am glad you liked it!)
    ~Shadow
    | Posted on 2004-10-10 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed the visuals you conjured up.i also liked the way you took the reader to another place.escapism is part of the joy for the reader and/or the writer.i tend to believe that this other place of existance is a plane that is actually alive within you somewhere;and i feel your pain sweetheart.we all have a burden to carry.hopefully this prose helped you lift some of the weight off.hope i wasnt to far off.nice stuff...crazyphreshone...
    | Posted on 2004-09-29 00:00:00 | by crazyphreshone | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't usually read that many poems that have so much depth about death in them but this title captured my attention. I really like the little parts like this line: "A melancholic wind whispers in this dead world" I also enjoyed this line: "A stream of water once so pure, now blood and disease
    Marks the spot where many were killed upon their knees"
    I think that this has some symbolic messages behind it. Maybe it's me though! :) The ending was really sad because evil is here these days and we, as well as future generations have to pay. Overall very nice job.
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the poem was very well written and my simple mind was even able to follow your thoughts. It is somewhat reminiscent of the first levels of the bardo in the Tibetan Book of the dead.
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Welcome to Elite. I just have a correction, in the first line the and should be an . This is very good. I am a morbid person so this is just like me. I am going to add this to my favorites, it really brings a visual in mind.
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by Kera | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    26009

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Bond written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    This written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Incubus written by monad

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry