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    dots Submission Name: Beyond the Door of Deathdots

    Author: Tears of Azrael
    ASL Info:    14/F/Lost
    Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 107/102/25
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1305
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 842

       I was writing this on a piece of notebook paper when I was waiting at the hair salon....so it's very random and creepy. Again, the death perspective! (Sorry...can't help it -_-;;)
    This is merely how I see the world....or foresee it in my own twisted way.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeyond the Door of Deathdots

    Darkness lies beyond an open door
    Door of death, of joy no more
    Everything is black, no color to behold
    A melancholic wind whispers in this dead world
    The life is dying
    The grief is horrifying
    Feelings of pain
    Minds insane
    Faces full of dread
    Love they never had
    Fugitives from a runaway train
    Beasts not yet slain
    A stream of water once so pure, now blood and disease
    Marks the spot where many were killed upon their knees
    Beneath an orchid of bones, witches were hung
    Beneath the setting sun, melodies of sorrow were sung
    The cold moon sits upon its crimson skies
    Watching and spreading the tears and lies
    Evil has come and it is here to stay
    For all the destruction we have caused, this is our price to pay

    Submitted on 2004-09-28 18:05:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      WOW... that is not fair! you can ryme and make it sound awsome! when ever i do it it makes it sound really stupid. I envy you! OH! Also, The flow is ok somtimes, but other times it kinda sticks out. can't really pick it out exactly where but it seems to be interuped somtimes. but i love it. (thanks for reading blood lust. it is ok that you didn't put it on your fav list there is no law that says your should. but i am glad you liked it!)
    | Posted on 2004-10-10 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed the visuals you conjured up.i also liked the way you took the reader to another place.escapism is part of the joy for the reader and/or the writer.i tend to believe that this other place of existance is a plane that is actually alive within you somewhere;and i feel your pain sweetheart.we all have a burden to carry.hopefully this prose helped you lift some of the weight off.hope i wasnt to far off.nice stuff...crazyphreshone...
    | Posted on 2004-09-29 00:00:00 | by crazyphreshone | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't usually read that many poems that have so much depth about death in them but this title captured my attention. I really like the little parts like this line: "A melancholic wind whispers in this dead world" I also enjoyed this line: "A stream of water once so pure, now blood and disease
    Marks the spot where many were killed upon their knees"
    I think that this has some symbolic messages behind it. Maybe it's me though! :) The ending was really sad because evil is here these days and we, as well as future generations have to pay. Overall very nice job.
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the poem was very well written and my simple mind was even able to follow your thoughts. It is somewhat reminiscent of the first levels of the bardo in the Tibetan Book of the dead.
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Welcome to Elite. I just have a correction, in the first line the and should be an . This is very good. I am a morbid person so this is just like me. I am going to add this to my favorites, it really brings a visual in mind.
    | Posted on 2004-09-28 00:00:00 | by Kera | [ Reply to This ]

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