Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Death In Winterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 963
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 415



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath In Winterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A winter death seems natural.
    It's a time when
    everything else dies, and so did you.
    There was no cheerful color
    of flowers or leaves
    to bless the earth with color
    to give false cheer
    to the gloomy day you left me.
    There was no sun
    to brighten the sky,
    no birds to sing,
    nothing but gloom
    as the world mourns.





    Submitted on 2004-03-01 11:57:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Honestly, I didn't notice any disruption to the flow... Do these people never read
    e e cummings? Punctuation, capitals, or lack thereof, are mere window dressing. This is very well written, and the message is clear. I've never lost anyone in winter. It's always been spring or summer, when everything is so full of life that a death seems utterly wrong. Well crafted. <><
    | Posted on 2004-03-23 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi,
    This is super. I especially like the way the first 3 lines draw the reader in - they're punchy and concise, or harsh if you like.
    And that's the season we're talking about.
    vg sat
    Hasta,
    K
    | Posted on 2004-03-04 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      change the second 'color' to hues and I think it will be great. I really like this poem even though it's about something sad.
    | Posted on 2004-03-01 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      the consistent use of capitals in this piece breaks up the rhythm and distracts flow,,,,,,its like words spat out from a man with down syndrome....i feel a full stop is needed after line 1. lines 2 and 3 either need to be one line or the break needs to come after dies//the repition of the word colour[color] is a distraction i shall not re write it for you the last time i did you justt said 'thanks..!!??' and it is your piece to play with, i would play with it,,,,,,you seem to have an affinity/leaning towards nature.......
    www.on1eday.co.uk
    | Posted on 2004-03-01 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    2602

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry