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deafening silence

Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 57
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 807
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 422


I wrote this 10 years ago...........

deafening silence

There are moments filled
with a deafening silence.
A quiet so loud,
its echoes are heard
in the place where emotions lie dormant.
Waking with the coming of the loud whispers.
Memories, frozen moments, unshed tears.
Held captive, enclosed.
The moment arrives.
Memory survives.
Freed from the void through
the deafening silence.

Submitted on 2004-09-29 23:22:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  hmm. type of work that made me read again. which is good. its like a story too me. a girl leading her life like this. hmm.

Waking with the coming of the loud whispers.

thats seemed bit too common. could of changed words and such. but it was lovely. soothing and deep in my mind. made me feel relaxed. think ill read another one of yours recently too see any change in writing. interesting!

| Posted on 2005-03-28 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
  This poem is one of those that is great to read, but even better when read aloud. The only things I have to point out are:

In the fourth line, "it's" should be "its". It's means "it is", its is possessive. It's weird that way.

In the sixth line, there's one more syllable that is comfortable rolling off the tongue... perhaps the "the" could go?

I love this... the mental picture it gives, the emotion it imparts, and the melodious sound of it spoken aloud. Great write.
| Posted on 2005-02-18 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]

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