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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the backdrop beat of my pastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hidden lady
    ASL Info:    28/female/nebraska
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 116/118/30
    Words: 251
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 876
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1573



    Description:
       the only way this poem will make sence is if you read every other paragraph with a fast paste beat. the first is slow. oh and I know I have typos and spelling errors but it is 2:16 in the morning and I am tired so bare with me ok?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe backdrop beat of my pastdots
    -------------------------------------------


    like angry popcorn,
    poping back into being,
    my past reserfeses
    its self.

    in disbelief I try to kick
    it in the head, if only to make
    sure it`s real

    this doubt, this pain.
    three years have past
    like a whirl of wind
    nocking everything into
    a nice black hole.

    I thought it was gone,
    dead, I thought I stabbed
    it in the face!
    I guess I was wrong
    I guess I just tucked it
    back, just laid it to sleep.
    And now it's back.

    like eminem claiming slim shady
    awake and causing havoc
    in my soul.
    falling out of my words and
    seeping through my silence.
    if you look closely you`ll
    hear it, see it, feel it dripping
    from every poor like guizers
    and fountians flooding
    every one.

    as they look at me in
    wide eyed shock and say
    "are you alright?"
    my reply....
    "no!"

    silence; it brakes,
    it brakes with the
    sound of my foot
    steps as I leave
    the conversation and retreat
    into my head, where
    I comfort my newly awaken
    pain and make it my
    own again.

    I become a clown.
    an odd smile begins to
    creep onto my face
    it feels comfortable and safe.
    now hiding in the trees and
    muck behind my empty
    brown eyes I am sure
    I am free and no one will save me.




    Submitted on 2004-09-30 02:23:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think the poem demonstrates how our past comes back and haunts. How we do push these things down and in moments of depression they come back. That gets better as you get older?
    " I comfort my newly awaken pain and make it my own again."
    Yes gotta agree will clean up nicely! :)
    | Posted on 2004-09-30 00:00:00 | by Jess | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the imagery used to portray the feeling... my fav line is:
    'where
    I comfort my newly awaken
    pain and make it my
    own again'. Once you fix all the typos and grammatical errors it's going to clean up very nicely. Good writing.
    | Posted on 2004-09-30 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      Good job I like the pooem it's cute my fav part if the begining like angry popcorn,
    poping back into being,
    my past reserfeses
    its self! keep it up peace./..
    | Posted on 2004-09-30 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]


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