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    dots Submission Name: heartlessdots

    Author: camoflage
    ASL Info:    16/f/nc
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 459/295/71
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 997
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1112


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I watch the world around me, as it falls apart,
    watching with what observers would suspect was a cold heart.
    Everythings going wrong, oh so wrong,
    I bet you'd never suspect, that hidden in this poem was the melody to my secret song.
    I watch as the Darkness overcomes the light,
    Iw ins the battle,
    wins the war,
    wins the fight.
    You haven't heard those screams at night?
    You haven't seen darkness overcome the light?
    You haven't seen me look into your world,
    you haven't seen the darkness mix and mold,
    you haven't met a person with a heart ice-cold?
    Well, I have, I've seen all theese tragic tales unfold.
    I watched as the light was consumed by Darkness,
    Yet I stood tall and fearless
    Haven't you seen the water be engulfed by flames?
    I watched noiselessly, as the worlds light is engulfed by Darkness,
    yet I stood tall, and fearless,
    My last remaining moments before I too am engulfed, I want to spend reminding you that I'm heartless

    Submitted on 2004-10-01 06:07:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      heartless-most people in this world are...i hate all of them...newayz-about your poem...

    its written a little unusual...some of it is in a pattern form and some not...some rhymes and some not...maybe you should break it down a little more...or not just my opinion.-actually its pretty good i was just thinking of the way it looks...but hey im crazy newayz...good write.
    | Posted on 2004-10-01 00:00:00 | by sweet-fire | [ Reply to This ]
      This really reads well. I can't tell an obvious rhyme scheme but whatever you've got going, it works. But do you really think you're heartless, or did somebody just make you feel that way?
    | Posted on 2004-10-01 00:00:00 | by WaxingPoetic | [ Reply to This ]
      Reading this poem just makes me want to hug you and tell you that you don't need to be heartless and I wonder what caused you to feel this way. Reading this makes me feel for you, because it seems as if your world is falling, but you seem to strive not to be deterred by it. Whatever you are going through that inspired this poem, just know that it will get better and you don't have to be the strong, heartless one all the time. I think it is a beautiful poem, and you must be a very strong person, despite your young years, and I admire that. Just stick it through: things will get better.
    | Posted on 2004-10-01 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]

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