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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: marksdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenbatman
    Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 475/233/44
    Words: 10
    Class/Type: Haiku/Misc
    Total Views: 1239
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 83



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmarksdots
    -------------------------------------------


    cannot comprehend
    rain splattered window pain
    father please come back




    Submitted on 2004-03-02 01:52:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the window pain play, (hope it was intentional)..This is exactly what a haiku should be,..don't you hate it when people tell you to make your haikus l-o-n-g-e-r? ..Thanks, Silver
    | Posted on 2004-03-02 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent play on words with this one bro... I think you are mastering haiku... this piece is great and serves up a buffet of emotion... keep em coming
    | Posted on 2004-03-02 00:00:00 | by Crash | [ Reply to This ]
      do you mean "window pane" or was "window pain" delibrate?

    neat Haiku - one of the first that I've read that actually imbibes a Haiku's them of being a description of a moment in time woven with a season... (is the season "autumn?")
    | Posted on 2004-03-02 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      IT was good, I got a nice picture in my head and it didnt take a big long story to do it..WEll done
    | Posted on 2004-03-02 00:00:00 | by TastemyTears | [ Reply to This ]
      A little short to arouse a rainfall of views/feelings. But what is there infers to me that this is all that needs to be said? Small piece, big impact on a personal level.
    | Posted on 2004-03-02 00:00:00 | by Soul Bearer | [ Reply to This ]
      I get the image that you're sitting at the window, rain is dripping against it and you wish your father comes back....am I way off?? anyway I like it. well written.
    | Posted on 2004-03-02 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      more I want more..... to little info and images, but good none the less keep it up.
    | Posted on 2004-03-02 00:00:00 | by hidden lady | [ Reply to This ]


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