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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Oatmeal Hallucinationsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 735
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 533



    Description:
       I kind of like this one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOatmeal Hallucinationsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My morning porridge is a crowd of faces:
    David Bowie is beside my cousin Rob;
    William Shatner and Aunt Prudence
    look like fiery lovers.
    Liz Taylor is wrapped in a python:
    I eat a bit of Dan Rathera
    and he turns into a duck riding a mule.
    The maple syrup looks like the Chrysler building.
    Frightened by my eyes.
    Scared of my mind.
    I vow to get some rest
    wondering if the tequila from the night before
    was made from the wrong sort of cactus.




    Submitted on 2004-10-02 00:29:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      haha! i vow to get some rest... i love it... the things i think or think i see when im dead tired doesnt sound too far off this early morning breafast insanity! haha! this is very well done though theres a coupla names in there that i dont know... maybe im not sposed to! LOL!
    | Posted on 2004-10-04 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      You have tapped into my loathing of the pop culture, and I don't plan on rewarding for it. I loathe this poem for the tip of its hat. What a ridiculous tip, serenading over-valued ghosts, lucky paragons no better than everyday schlubs.

    This is very hallucinagenic, though. Though mainly in the sense that it could only make sense to someone on them. Which I have been. Far in the past anyway.

    I can definately see Rather being a quacking fool riding on the back of an ass. Perhaps he likes peyote, that wrong kind of prickly f ucker. This is a likable write. You play well with some well-known images.
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      that's funny. I like how you brought in the celebreties (sp?). and the lines
    "The maple syrup looks like the Chrysler building
    Frightened by my eyes
    Scared of my mind"
    are great. makes me think the marple syrup is some kind of living being who is afraid of you cause it knows what's on your mind - that you want to eat it.
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is good, kinda reminds me of how when I was a kid, I use to look into the clouds and see what I could imagine, or look at my soggy frosted flakes, and see what cool and what my sisters thought was so stupid. I think this was overall a good poem. You did well with your expression. Very comedic, but very rememberic. Great job

    Julian
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      Very funny! Great idea. All the 'people' in your oatmeal. Eating Dan Rather, haha, that part was great. The end tied it together because at first I thought, why is she talking about all these people? Great job, this made me laugh. :)
    -blt
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I got a wonderful morning chuckle out of this, as I have eaten my fair share of oatmeal. And if it isn't prepared right, hallucinations can be caused by the taste alone!
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by Ontlogicalamity | [ Reply to This ]
      nicely humorous. you have a pretty good touch with light comedy... :-)

    nothing to nit i can see. making this a fav

    [computer says i need more words...]
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I kinda like this one too
    I'm kidding, I really like it.
    I tend to like the more abstract pieces though, so I'm biased. I love the tone of the piece. The title didn't do much for me initially, but after reading the piece, it sticks My dad once told me oatmeal sticks to the ribs. I don't think that is physiologically sound, lol. Anyway, very nice write!
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      hehe this is cute. it happens to me sometimes when I don't get any sleep. it's like my mind starts playing games with me. i have to look twice to make sure.
    | Posted on 2004-10-02 00:00:00 | by hotrodruss | [ Reply to This ]


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