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    dots Submission Name: love medots

    Author: brokenmuse
    ASL Info:    26/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 756/734/161
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 857
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 551


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    dotslove medots

    love me
    on the floor
    of a forest
    under the silver light
    of the moon
    under the shining stars
    touch me
    explore my secrets
    love me
    become one with me
    make love to me
    like lightning
    hot, shinig, intense
    lets kiss in the rain
    and touch in the waterfall
    be one with nature
    explore my secrets
    rain tender kisses
    on the peaks
    of ivory mountains
    make love to me
    let us become one
    lets make love.

    Submitted on 2004-10-03 21:28:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ooh, this is a sexy one. It is very passionate, but it seems loving instead of smutty. I think you need apostrphes in the occurences of "let's," but other than that I think you did a nice job.
    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I am not used to the style, but the content makes me miss my boyfriend about ten times more than I already do. This poem is so simple, yet projects something so beautiful so powerfully. At first I thought it didn't flow real well, but after a slow reread, and picturing the image take place in my head, substituting my boyfriend and myself as the characters, I realized how perfect it sounds. Well done...it is a beautiful piece.
    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      any poet can appreciate the warmth and passion that this piece shares. This reminds me of many times not too long ago. a time when I was happy. You put juvenile love into great perspective. thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by isaiahc4 | [ Reply to This ]
      A very passionate piece. I would love to have this kind of passion directed too me. It was fun to read. I believe you misspelled shining but other then that well done.
    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]

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