[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: love medots

    Author: brokenmuse
    ASL Info:    26/F/AL
    Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 756/734/161
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 822
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 551


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslove medots

    love me
    on the floor
    of a forest
    under the silver light
    of the moon
    under the shining stars
    touch me
    explore my secrets
    love me
    become one with me
    make love to me
    like lightning
    hot, shinig, intense
    lets kiss in the rain
    and touch in the waterfall
    be one with nature
    explore my secrets
    rain tender kisses
    on the peaks
    of ivory mountains
    make love to me
    let us become one
    lets make love.

    Submitted on 2004-10-03 21:28:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ooh, this is a sexy one. It is very passionate, but it seems loving instead of smutty. I think you need apostrphes in the occurences of "let's," but other than that I think you did a nice job.
    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I am not used to the style, but the content makes me miss my boyfriend about ten times more than I already do. This poem is so simple, yet projects something so beautiful so powerfully. At first I thought it didn't flow real well, but after a slow reread, and picturing the image take place in my head, substituting my boyfriend and myself as the characters, I realized how perfect it sounds. Well done...it is a beautiful piece.
    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      any poet can appreciate the warmth and passion that this piece shares. This reminds me of many times not too long ago. a time when I was happy. You put juvenile love into great perspective. thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by isaiahc4 | [ Reply to This ]
      A very passionate piece. I would love to have this kind of passion directed too me. It was fun to read. I believe you misspelled shining but other then that well done.
    | Posted on 2004-10-03 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    i've missed written by mysalvation
    prison written by ShyOne
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Every..... written by jackz




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]